After some nagging by Ac, I decided I needed to tranfer this fic over here.
------------------
Yes, I have been infected..err, inspired by my fellow bunnies to write this short vignette of John and Aeryn's time together in the Locket.
Rated G (sorry about that
) Farscape is not mine and no disrespect intended.
Thanks to the bunnies for beta-reading, and thanks to aeryncrichton for proofing for me.
Aeryn had long ago come to terms with the passing of the years. Her life had been long and rich, if not entirely what she had wanted...and she had been prepared for the next great adventure that followed. One that would, at least, get her off of this frelling planet, as she had no intention of being buried in the ground, as was the custom here. The only thing she longed for was to see Moya and its denizens one more time. She needed to warn them so they would not share her fate; and she needed to see his face before she died.
So she had accepted the wrinkles that had crept upon her like a silent enemy, and the graying of her once beautiful hair that she was still too vain to cut. She didn't mind that she was slowing down, or that child bearing was long behind her. She had had her children, and knew her immortality was in the one grandchild that fate had left to her.
She was content. Content, that is, until he came back into her life, making her long for youth and vitality and another chance at happiness. Among other things. Her husband had lived long enough for her to know that those getting on in years could and did make love-slowly and carefully, anyway-but even if John shared her longings it would not be fair to him. How much longer at her age could she possibly live? She had been sure that she was at the end of her days when she encountered Moya again and John had been trapped here with her. Since that time she had gained a second wind, so to speak, but it was still likely that she would leave him before long, and then what would he have, with no hope of getting home, no family, no stars or even frelling wormholes. Which is why she had decided not to attend the midsummer gathering with him.
He didn't take her announcement well. Strangely enough, she found that she was even happy to hear him whining again: not one of his most attractive traits, but still comforting because it was familiar.
He slumped down in a chair in her common room and complained. "But Aeryn, you were the one that wanted me to get involved in the *community*. So why won't you go with me?"
"I'm getting too old for that sort of thing," she sniffed.
"Feelin okay today, dahlin?" he asked, leaning forward, a brief worry in his face.
"Fine," she said. "Just not up to all the noise and youngsters and...and...heat."
"You sound like a crotchety old lady," he said, leaning back again.
"I *am* a crotchety old lady," she pointed out, "and you need to spend time with young people...people your own age."
John stared at her. She knew that sometimes he not only had trouble believing that she had aged, but couldn't quite believe in some of the changes that had been wrought in her by living the quiet life for so long and loving and raising a family.
"Why?" he challenged. "I'm not staying in the Land that Time Forgot one minute more than I have to."
Aeryn refrained from telling him that that was going to be a universe full of microts-as many microts as there were stars in the sky. "Because you need to make a life here. Find someone and settle down. And you can't do that if you don't-" she hesitated. Don't leave my side? "...go out there," she finished lamely. She looked down at the needlework on her lap, refusing to meet his eyes.
"I have everything I need right here, Aeryn."
"No, you don't," she said, her eyes tearing up. Stupid old eyes. "You don't have what I had."
John got up and paced. It was a movement that she had seen often of late, back and forth with no purpose. He stopped beside her chair, and touched her grey head lightly. "I don't have everything I want," he said softly. "I want off this planet. I want to go back to Moya. I want to see Earth again. And I want-" he stopped. "But I do have what I need to survive here."
This was impossible. He was impossible. She looked up at those beautiful blue eyes, not one bit dulled or clouded by the passage of time, and said forcefully, "There is more to life than survival. There's making your life count, and building for a future, and leaving something you've planted behind."
"This isn't my life. I don't want to-"
"No, of course you don't!" she snapped. Years of learning patience from raising a houseful of boys fell away in an instant. "You always want what you can't have! The only way you're happy is when you're chasing something that's never going to happen!"
"Fine," he spat out. "Of course you're right. I'll just go-get a life. Thanks, Grandma."
Aeryn jumped up, forgetting that she was supposed to be being old and frail. Luckily John was on the way out, and didn't see her. She stopped herself from following him. She had no idea what it was about him that made her lose her temper. She had not meant to be so harsh-when she was accusing him of only wanting what he couldn't have, she was only referring to his endless attempts to find a way through the mist. Nothing more.
John sat on the edge of the boat dock, dangling his feet in the water and brooding. He was ignoring the people preparing the midsummer feast and the festivities behind him, but was keeping an idle eye on the competitive shooting going on on the other side of the lake. There were people enjoying the water and he contemplated taking a dip-it was only warm enough on this planet to swim for a few short days every year- but even that didn't sound like much fun.
"Where's Grandmother?" Ennix asked, pulling herself out of the water and onto the boat dock. John couldn't help but notice how sleek and strong she was, so much like Aeryn when they first met. That impression was magnified by the black swimming suit, which although all in one piece reminded him of Pk black undies. John frowned a bit when she shook her head and sprayed him with water, then toweled her hair. It was too short for his liking-he didn't know why she chose to wear it that way.
"She stayed home. She could at least have come out and sat in a chair and watched the party."
"Yes," Ennix agreed slowly. She sat beside him quietly for a moment, then pointed out the target shooters. "Grandmother used to win that every year. She has a trunkful of medals and ribbons at home."
"I'll bet she did," John smiled faintly.
"But now her eyesight's bad, and she won't shoot anymore."
She squinted her eyes at him and looked at him inscrutably, in a way she must have inherited directly from Aeryn. If she was trying to make a point, he didn't understand it. She sighed, and shook her head. "So what are *you* doing here?" she asked, implying the 'without her' part.
John surprised himself by leveling with her. "She's pushing me away...again. So what else is new?"
Ennix mirrored John's position on the dock, hands on the edge, feet dangling. She spoke to the water. "I think she's trying to be fair to you."
"She wants me to find someone...else,' he said resignedly. "Settle down."
"Well, you'll get used to that," Ennix said, trying to make light of it. "She wants everyone to be settled. She's always after *me* to get married...of course, I know in my case it's because she wants to have great-grandbabies to play with."
*Great* grandbabies? Now there was a shocking thought. He was just getting used to Aeryn as Whistler's mother...much less a great grandmother. He supposed that she'd be delighted if he brought home 'grandbabies', too...he looked at Ennix suspiciously. No, Aeryn could not be trying to match them up, could she?
Ennix gave him a descendant of Aeryn's smile and scrambled to her feet. "Let's get something to eat."
It was dusk before John got back, the darkness gathering and the summer insects starting their evening serenade. He could see that Aeryn had abandoned her rocking chair. She did not come to the door to greet him, but instead was in the kitchen pounding the frell out of some kind of meat. She didn't look up when he entered, proving that her hearing was as good as ever, but did stop pounding so that she could be heard.
"You spent the day with Ennix," she said, without any preamble.
What, had she been spying on him? Gossip traveled faster than light speed around here.
"It was your idea. You wanted me to go out and meet people."
Aeryn wiped her hands and started shredding salad greens, all without meeting John's eyes.
"Not Ennix," she said flatly. "Anyone but Ennix."
Well, he'd certainly guessed that one wrong. It made sense that her granddaughter was too close, too painful to watch him be with. And it wasn't like he'd seriously considered it, but perversely, he wanted her to hurt. "I like Ennix," he challenged.
"What? No cute blondes on this planet?"
"She reminds me of you."
The salad greens were becoming smaller and smaller pieces, none of them bigger than a postage stamp. John suddenly realized that Aeryn was not so much angry as she was anxious.
"That's not who she reminds *me* of," she said quietly.
He stared at her blankly.
"You CAN'T-you can't be...do...*anything* with Ennix. Because-" She drew a deep breath. "She's the child of my oldest son. The one that I was carrying when I was stranded on this planet."
John shook his head slowly. He didn't have the slightest idea what she was talking about.
"He was...your son," she said reluctantly. "Ennix is your granddaughter."
John stared back, nonplussed. Aeryn was looking at him with sympathy on her face, evidently expecting some sort of reaction.
"Aeryn, honey, that's just not possible-"
"Don't you-" she interrupted sharply, then sighed. "You think I'm fahrbot, that I have that oldtimer's disease you were talking about. Look, I'll show you." She grabbed him by the hand and pulled him into the other room. She stopped at a wooden chest close by her rocking chair and lowered herself carefully to the floor beside it. Impatiently she flung open the lid and started rummaging through the contents. John saw several ribbons that she casually tossed aside. "Here!" she said triumphantly, holding up a small photograph in an ebony frame. For a second, John thought he was looking at a picture of his father- an older man, older than Jack was now, wearing the loose farming clothes favored on this planet. He soon saw the small differences in face and coloring-the hair that wasn't yet grey was darker than Jack's had ever been.
"See?" Aeryn smiled. "That's my John."
He took the photo from her and looked at it in wonder. To him it was proof, as positive as a DNA test. But how?
"You're trying to tell me I'm a grandfather...a father...of someone old enough to be my grandfather. Heinlein would love this."
"Peacekeeper females can keep an embryo in stasis for up to seven cycles. It's not something we're born with-it's a modification they make to soldiers. I didn't even know until the stasis wore off and I suddenly found myself pregnant. From the timing, I thought it must have been you- from when we were on the false Earth." As pale and fragile as her complexion had become, she still blushed nicely, John observed. "I still wasn't sure that he was your son- but when he grew up, he was so much like you, and not at all like a Peacekeeper...and he aged much more quickly than the other two boys."
"Do you have baby pictures?"
Aeryn rummaged some more and brought out a picture of a tow-headed boy standing in front of a man with a red beard, who was beaming proudly down at him. John discarded that one with a grimace, in favor of one with Aeryn and baby alone, the baby held in her arms in a classic madonna and child pose.
"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked softly, not wanting to accuse but needing to know.
"I didn't want to hurt you. I didn't know what good it would do to tell you about a son who lived his life out before you could meet him, and never even believed you existed." Aeryn's eyes were dark pools.
"Does Ennix know?"
"No," Aeryn shrugged. "I don't know how I could have made her believe it anyway.
"We probably shouldn't tell her now. She speaks proudly of her Grandfather. I wouldn't want to take that from her," John said regretfully.
Aeryn nodded mutely.
"It must have been hard for you, going through this alone."
"Yes. That's one of the reasons I decided to marry."
"I'm glad you did," John choked out. "A boy should have a father. Was he a good father?"
"Yes," Aeryn said reassuringly. She turned away and looked down into the box. "And a good husband. He was a good man."
John lightly touched the chubby hand pointing towards Aeryn' still young and radiant face. "Good."
He carefully placed the photo into the chest, and reached out to caress Aeryn's cheek, turning her head towards him. "Oh, baby, this is not the way things were supposed to be."
"I'm so sorry,' she said. "Sorry for everything you missed."
He brushed a tear off her cheek, then dropped his hand. "Everything *we* missed. Together. But Aeryn, this is not the way it's going to end. I'm going to fix it."
"You can't turn back time."
"Watch me. D'Argo and Chiana-Zhaan, Stark-Moya's still up there. Only arns could have passed for them, if that much. I'm going to find my way back even if we have to wait for that 55 cycle window. And when I do, we are going to find a way around this-because this is not what the story of our lives is supposed to be."
"And if you could?" Aeryn asked, entertaining the possibility. "What about my life here? Will everything I've lived be destroyed?"
"I don't know," he admitted. "But it may still exist as well. In an infinite universe..."
"I'm not going to let you waste your life pining for something that's never going to happen."
"And I'm not going to let you tell me how to live my life," John retorted. He had no idea if he and Aeryn could ever overcome the difference in their ages, but if she thought that he could make a life with someone else then she did have the Oldtimer's disease.
"Well, you can't stop me from trying."
"Wouldn't dream of it," John said wryly.
Aeryn smiled deeply, her lower lip slightly covering the upper one, and dipped her head coquettishly.
"So are you with me?" John smiled crookedly.
"What do I do?"
"Live. Stay alive, as long as it takes, and go back with me to Moya. And hope- because sometimes I can't do that all alone."
She considered for a moment, staring into his eyes. "Only you would hope in this situation- but yes, I'll do it. I guess if I've stayed alive this long I can keep doing it for a while longer."
"Promise me." John was sure of Aeryn's promise. Heaven and Earth would move to obey it, he was certain.
Aeryn covered both of his young strong hands with her bony fragile ones. He could feel the strength flowing from her. She fixed him with a glare that would scare death itself.
"I promise."
Author
