Knowing John Crichton (R)

Originally posted 1/3/04

I have no idea where this one came from....but ya just can't argue with the muses....

I actually had this one about half done before I did a New Year's Day marathon with a friend of Kansas through Fetal Attraction -- and realized that fortuitously, where we ended up was EXACTLY where this fic was set. Wow! For once recently, I had the setting fresh in my mind as I finished this!

Thanks especially to shipsister, loco and shipscat for beta duties, and to atana, bobdcat and MadScientist for a quick look....

Anyway, I'm calling this "R" for sex, or anyway, for a "between bouts" setting.... What can I say?

Rating: R
Setting: Between Fetal Attraction and Hot to Katratzi
Spoilers: Through FA
Disclaimer: Not mine, no disrespect intended, I love these characters, and I just wanted to see them TALK a little.... Honest! TALK!

< snicker >

Enjoy!

Knowing John Crichton

Every nerve ending John had was on fire, deliciously, wondrously on fire, begging for release. But from somewhere he summoned the strength to wait till he felt Aeryn tense beneath him, till he felt her warmth clasp tightly around him as she went over the edge, before he allowed himself to come with an incoherent cry that could probably be heard in Pilot's den.... He collapsed on top of her, some corner of his brain hoping his weight wasn't too uncomfortable, but unable to summon the strength or the coordination yet to roll them over so she was on top.

Lord God almighty, that had been intense! She'd had control of him from the get-go tonight, bringing him to the edge and pulling him back so many times he'd lost count, before finally whispering in his ear just one word: "Now...."

"God DAMN, woman, you've been holding out on me!" he groaned when he could finally put words together again.

She didn't say anything, she didn't react at all, except for a slight pause in her ragged breathing as she, too, tried to get her body back under control.

Aw, crap, he'd hurt her feelings....

He somehow managed to pick up his head, saying, "It was a joke, Aeryn, a joke." He dropped kisses all over her face, starting with her luscious lips, to prove he was sincere.

Her mouth twitched in a soft smile, then, and when his mouth was on hers again, she wrapped her arms around his neck to keep him there and kissed him fervently....which brought his mind back to his joking complaint.

They'd been sleeping together for about a week now, since she'd recovered enough from her injuries at the hands of the Scarrans for her to insist that she was fine and for him to stop worrying about her health and take her at her word. And he'd spent every microt of every time they'd made love memorizing the body of the woman he loved more than life -- her reactions, every twitch and moan she made, drinking it all in, after waiting so long.... And she'd been giving, and loving, and God, yes, oh-so-responsive and passionate -- but until tonight, she'd always let him take the lead, and he'd never even noticed. Not that that was a bad thing, necessarily, but....it puzzled him, now that he'd become conscious of it, because he would have expected Aeryn Sun to be more aggressive. It was in her nature....

He realized vaguely that he couldn't think and keep from squashing her at the same time. So, he kissed her, reveling anew in the taste, and the texture and the feel of her mouth, and her tongue, and then pulled his head away from her arms and rolled himself off onto his side, though not so far that his naked, damp, still-tingling body wasn't pressed tightly against hers.

Aeryn turned her head and looked at him. "John?"

"Shhh," he whispered, holding a hand up to indicate he needed a moment to gather his thoughts, and hoping he wasn't pissing her off. The last thing he wanted to do was to start a fight after absolutely incredible sex!

Aeryn waited quietly, and he knew she must be a little upset, because she kept her hands to herself, which she'd most definitely not been doing from the moment they'd started sharing a bed....

He blew out his breath softly, and tried to figure out what was bothering him. Too damn analytical, Johnny, he thought. But his days were filled with planning a run on Katratzi and worries about what Scorpy Sue might be spilling to the Scarrans, and he'd chosen to bury his nights in the wonder that was Aeryn Sun, and she had opened herself to him completely.

She deserved honesty from him.

So, acutely aware of Aeryn laying tensely-- and nakedly -- beside him as the microts ticked by, he made himself tippy-toe up to something that was beginning to creep out from one of the corners where he'd shoved a whole hell of a lot of crap over the past cycle or so. Was he thinkin' she learned how to blow off the top of his head like that from, you know....Him?

Was he jealous?

Was that all? 'Cos hell, if that was all, he could toss that out the airlock right here and now, 'cos the other guy was dead, and Aeryn was his, and it really didn't matter any more --

The sound of Aeryn clearing her throat drew his attention from his ruminations. It appeared there was a limit to her patience, because she turned her head to face the ceiling and asked nervously, "John? Did I do something wrong? Did you not like that?"

Ah, crap, that's what comes of getting all introspective when you're in bed with a beautiful woman! That's why guys weren't supposed to want to talk about their feelings! Prob'ly the best sex he'd ever had, with the woman of his dreams, and he's freaking her out so she's never going to do it again!

"No, baby, God, no," he said, sliding his leg possessively between hers. She shifted a little and spread her legs slightly to accommodate him, and he scrunched his body more tightly against her, if that was possible. When she turned her head to face him, he looked her straight in the eyes and reached out and twisted a few strands of her hair gently between his thumb and forefinger. "Believe me, I liked that. I loved that! That was....incredible! You can do that to me any time you want!" he babbled. He knew the grin on his face was wide and wicked, and he felt himself grow firmer against her leg as if to reassure her.

Whether it was his words or his, er, body language, it seemed to work. Aeryn smirked. "I see."

He could hear the unspoken, Then what the frell is bothering you?, and he opened his mouth and blurted, from nowhere he was conscious of, "Did...he...did he not like you to take the lead? In bed?" What the hell did he mean by that?

She looked at him carefully, as if surveying a minefield, and then, he thought, still went with the first answer that entered her head: "Don't be ridiculous. He was the same as you."

"I'm not him."

"Of course you're not," she said softly, smoothing his hair and caressing his cheek with her hand. She smiled wistfully as she searched his eyes. "But you're him if he'd been through what you have. You're John Crichton, just as he was. You're John One and he was John Two, or the other way around if you like, but," she said, touching his heart gently, "you're the same in here."

He covered her hand with his own and closed his eyes and thought about that for a few microts.

When he didn't say anything, she said fiercely, "I know you, John Crichton. I know who you are."

And maybe that was the answer. This wasn't about sex at all.... I know who you are.

John blew out a huge, relaxing breath. That was what he'd needed to hear her say. That whatever she did or didn't do, in bed or out, it was because of him: that this was their dance now, their life, no ghosts allowed. If they were going to frell up, they'd do it on their own, but he had to believe that this time, they'd figure it all out.

He gently removed her hand from his chest and kissed her fingers, one by one, in apology. She shivered delicately each time his lips touched her fingertips, and his body responded in kind.

"You're all right, then?" Aeryn asked softly.

"I'm good," he assured her, and he was.

"Good," she announced with a grin that could only have been called predatory, and without further preamble, flipped him off of her and over onto his back, ending the maneuver by climbing atop his body triumphantly.

He didn't even think of protesting, just laid back and grinned at her like a fool. "That's right, baby," he murmured, "you go right ahead and have your way with me!"

Tantalizingly slowly, she lifted her face up over his, nuzzling his neck with her nose and her lips on the way, her long dark hair trailing across his chest. The kiss, when it came, took his breath away.

"Mmmmm, you have been holding back, though," he said when he could put words together again. It wasn't an accusation, just an observation, and Aeryn actually understood that.

"A little," she admitted. She sat up again, straddling him, and leaned her head to the side, sending her long hair rippling. "I love you, John, and I....just didn't want to do the wrong thing this time. I just thought, maybe....maybe you needed to go slow for a while."

To catch up to her, he thought.... The scary thing was, she was right. She'd given him the chance to discover and rediscover her body without his mind dredging up the ghost of Crichtons past as he might well have done if she'd been bolder. On the other hand, based on the evidence of the past arn, she'd obviously decided he'd done enough catching up....which suggested he was a fast learner. He couldn't stop a smile from spreading across his face.

Aeryn grinned back at him. "Besides," she said, "I love it when you take control!"

"Is that so?" he grunted.

Much to his satisfaction, he took her by complete surprise when he wrapped his arms around her body, pulled her down and rolled her over, trapping her body beneath his.

There was still plenty of time before they had to get some sleep....