My Brother's Keeper (G)

Originally posted 11/5/03

Don't know what to say about this one......

John, D'Argo, and one missing ex-Peacekeeper.....

Rating: G (except for some bad language)
Setting: Shortly after BHTB
Spoilers: Through BHTB
Disclaimer: The usual....Not my characters, not my universe, no money -- and no disrespect intended....

Thanks to the Bunnies (even if you did make me seriously doubt myself :( ) -- the story is better for your input.

My Brother's Keeper

Crichton completely lost it at dinner.

"Frellnik!" D'Argo muttered under his breath, hauling the human out into the corridor before he could do any more damage....

* * * * * * * *

Not that D'Argo had expected Crichton to eat dinner, of course. Not with that thing that wasn't Aeryn lying in Sikozu's lab with half its frelling face blown off, and the real Aeryn in the hands of the Scarrans, who were probably torturing her even now. Everyone on Moya knew John was beating himself up over what had happened to the woman he loved. Even if they were supposed to have been 'splitsville,' as John described it.

The heart knew no logic, only that it loved, no matter the pain inflicted.... Ahhhh, frell. D'Argo understood that all too well.

But John was driving Pilot to distraction, demanding ever deeper searches of Moya's data bases and logs, trying to trace the one pathetic lead they had -- someplace called 'Katratzi' -- and the Luxan had decided to give the poor creature some peace. Quite apart from Crichton's badgering, Pilot, too, loved Aeryn.... So, D'Argo had dragged the human into the center chamber and sat him down at the table along with the rest of Moya's current occupants: Chiana, Rygel, Noranti, Scorpius and Sikozu.

Chiana had said John needed more time alone, but once D'Argo got a good look at John in the light of the center chamber, he was glad he hadn't left his friend on his own. In the short time since they'd realized that Aeryn was lost, John's face had picked up a gaunt, lost look. His blue eyes were too bright, almost feverish, and they didn't seem to see anyone who was actually there in the room. "You look like dren," D'Argo announced.

Crichton ignored the remark, and everything everyone else said, and refused to take any of the food they offered him. When Chiana put some on his plate anyway, Crichton muttered, "No thanks," and shoved the plate towards the center of the table. To D'Argo's disgust, John had somehow managed to bring a hand-held data screen along with him, and he turned his attention to the device, no doubt looking for a reference to this mysterious place Sikozu had heard the Scarrans mention, assuming she wasn't making it up.

The room settled into near-silence. Chiana kept cajoling, and Rygel complained as usual about Noranti's cooking, but everyone else held their peace, and the only sounds were those of dishes being passed and utensils scraping against pans and plates.

D'Argo loaded his own plate with rangpur chowder and grolak, which certainly would have been crisper if Chiana had made it, and tried to decide whether he would be risking a display of the human's temper if he pushed a little harder about the food. The question was complicated by the fact that the Luxan had been somewhat distant from the ex-Peacekeeper since her return, and he suspected that Crichton, when he finally remembered that, would, in his present state, take that as evidence that D'Argo wasn't upset by what had happened to her, which wasn't true at all. He resented the pain Aeryn caused John without even trying, but he respected her as a warrior and a shipmate, and he didn't wish Scarran captivity on anyone, especially a pregnant woman. Ah, it was more than that. He had to admit, Aeryn was family, even if they were estranged just now, and he was worried to death about her. In the end, he sighed, and said nothing.

Even Chiana finally gave up her attempts at cajoling Crichton, though obviously John's misery was causing her considerable distress, and she kept sneaking looks at him that the human never noticed.

D'Argo was a little surprised that Rygel didn't simply imperiously order the human to pull himself together, but the toad seemed to be somewhat distressed by the events of the day himself.

The old witch studied Crichton for a little while as he poked desperately at the device in front of him, and then frowned in disapproval at what she saw on his face. From some pocket or other in her ratty garment, she withdrew a small black squeeze bulb, and dropped it on the table in front of the traumatized human. D'Argo had no doubt it contained one of her noxious powders, probably the one she'd been giving him to make him forget about Aeryn. Of all the frelling stupid things to do.... Aeryn had been furious when she found out just how serious John had been about trying to break it off with her.

But John barely gave it a glance, just batted it away with the back of his hand. The blow lacked force, and the bulb sat in the middle of the table, forcing everyone to pretend not to see it.

If they could just get John to unwind even a little.... Grolak halfway to his mouth, D'Argo had an idea. He got up and stalked across the room and grabbed a bottle of fellip nectar. He hesitated for just a moment, and then walked back to the table and set the bottle down in front of Crichton. "Drink," he ordered.

"No thanks, D," John said without looking up from the computer screen.

"Drink," D'Argo repeated. "You're wound up tighter than a quillum! That won't help Aeryn."

John stopped what he was doing and actually looked D'Argo in the eye. "I can't," he said softly. "I've gotta keep a clear head. It's all I've got."

"It's one frelling drink, John. It won't affect your judgment."

"Yes it does, D'Argo, no matter what you think at the time, it always does. That's why they have designated drivers." And then he backed down slightly and offered a compromise: "If there's any of that nexxa juice left, I'll have some of that." It wasn't an intoxicant, but at least it would get something into his stomach.

"I'll get it!" Chiana said, popping up and rushing across the room. Out of the corner of his eye D'Argo saw her splash some raslak into the glass with the juice before bringing it over to the table. He kept his mouth shut and hoped she hadn't overdone it.

Crichton took it absently, and went back to his computer search. The rest of them continued to eat, but John's muttered curses suggested he wasn't having much success. From time to time he took a gulp of the raslak-laced juice, eventually polishing off the glass. Obviously frustrated, Crichton turned the computer interface upside down on the table and stared around the room, eyes lighting on everything and nothing. Finally he got up and walked around the table and parked himself behind Sikozu, all eyes following him.

D'Argo was seated across the table from the redheaded Kalish, and so could see both her face, and John's behind her. An expression of concern crossed her face, and without turning her head, she slid her eyes to the left to exchange a glance with the frelling Scarran halfbreed. Scorpius' expression was serene, and she apparently took her cue from that and simply waited.

John took a breath. In a deceptively calm voice, he said, "Okay, Sicko. Tell me."

"Tell you what?" Sikozu asked, apparently keeping her temper with great effort.

"What did they pay you, huh? The Scarrans." He leaned over her shoulder menacingly.

She turned her head and glared at him. "Crichton, I know you are upset about Aeryn, but I had nothing to do with what happened to her."

"No? You were the last one with her," he said, beginning to tick off his suspicions on his fingers. "You knew what that fucking thing was." The Kalish opened her mouth to say something, but Chiana must have overdone it with the raslak, because John kept right on talking. "And you're pretty damn cozy with Grasshopper here, too," he said, pointing at Scorpius, who gazed back in wide-eyed innocence.

"Scorpius despises Scarrans. If I'm in league with him, why would I give Aeryn to them?"

Chiana interrupted. "She has a point, Crichton--"

The human turned his attention to the Nebari. "Can it, Chi," he said coldly. "You flew all the way back here with that thing. How come you didn't recognize it wasn't Aeryn, huh? Huh? Tell me that! You're supposed to be her friend!"

D'Argo suspected Chiana had been wondering the same thing, because although she glared at Crichton, she didn't even try to defend herself. Taking a deep breath, John rounded on Sikozu again, apparently determined to get her to confess. "You ran off and left her with two Scarrans, goddammit! Two! What do you expect me to think? Huh?"

"She told me to!" Sikozu shouted back. "She's a Peacekeeper!"

"Where is she?" he bellowed, face flushed deep red with anger and frustration. "You tell me right now before I pull an arm or two off!" With that, he grabbed Sikozu by one arm and yanked her sideways out of her chair, no doubt more for emphasis than mayhem, but he must have had a solid grip on her arm, because the redhead winced in pain.

Ah, frell. Frell, frell, frell! Though D'Argo was moving even before Crichton actually touched the Kalish, Scorpius was closer, and furious. He was out of his seat and had thrown the human across the room with a loud growl before anyone knew what was happening. Crichton fetched up against the wall with a thud and a grunt, and Scorpius stood glaring at him.

The human glared back, but said nothing.

Furious himself, D'Argo reached his friend in a few long strides and grabbed him by the arm, pulling him to his feet.

"Get him out of here," Scorpius spat.

The Luxan wasn't about to dignify that with a comment, and besides, he wasn't sure he could actually speak to John without yelling, so he simply dragged Crichton into the corridor.

* * * * * * * *

"I should have listened to Chiana," D'Argo growled, pulled up to his full height so he towered over his friend. "She said to let you stew in your own juices." That wasn't exactly what she'd said, but it was close enough, considering how angry he was with John for nearly getting himself killed by taking his frustration out on the one person Scorpius seemed to genuinely care about, nauseating as that thought was.

"You should have listened to me, D'Argo. I told you to leave me the frell alone!" The two men glared at each other for long microts, and then Crichton deflated. "You shouldn't have let Chiana spike my juice. I told you I needed a clear head."

"Oh, so now it's my fault you were acting like a drannit!"

Crichton sighed. "No. No, it's my fault. It's all my fault. It's always my fault." He pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes a moment, then dragged his hands down the sides of his face to his chin, finally dropping them back to his side. "I should have let her come with us. She wanted to come with us, help me keep an eye on Scorpy...." D'Argo started to interrupt, but John cut him off. "Or better yet, we both shoulda stayed here, watched TV, ate popcorn, like normal people. But I told her she had to look after the girls." He stared at D'Argo with that haunted look again, and repeated, "I told her she had to look after the girls."

Oh, frell.... D'Argo muttered several ancient Luxan curses under his breath. "John, you and Aeryn....You didn't break it off, did you? You were back together...."

That set John off again. "What? Like it would hurt less if we weren't together? I love her, D'Argo. I've never stopped loving her, and I won't stop loving her if--" He broke off and turned away so D'Argo couldn't see his face.

D'Argo stared at his best friend, ignoring the slight shake to Crichton's shoulders. He knew the human and the ex-Peacekeeper were bound together in a way he couldn't begin to understand, but still-- "You lied to me," D'Argo said, giving his friend's back a not so gentle shove. "First the frelling drugs, now this! You lied to me!"

John whirled around, fire in his eyes instead of the tears he blinked away. "Yes, I lied to you. You betcha! And I lied to Aeryn, too, most of the time since she came back. I lied to everyone! Fine, that makes me an A-1 Grade A bastard. You happy?"

Okay. So he hadn't been played for a fool by his best friend for the entire time, anyway. If Crichton had been lying to Aeryn too.... Some sympathy began to seep into the Luxan's mind, softening his anger, and he began, "John--"

But Crichton cut him off, that pained look back on his face. "D'Argo. Please. Just help me find her. I've got to get her back, and the baby." His voice cracked on the last word.

D'Argo sighed heavily. He understood the desperation he saw in the human's eyes. How irrational had he been in his ill-fated quest to track down his son? He shuddered to think how he would have been had he been searching for Lo'laan as well. He laid his hand on John's shoulder and said gruffly, "I told you already, John, back on command, we're going to find her. But you have got to pull yourself together. You need to eat," he said, ticking off his thoughts. "You need to let Pilot do his job without badgering him. And you need to stop pointing fingers, not at yourself, not at Sikozu!"

John had the grace to look embarrassed. "Yeah, man, I guess I shouldn't have gotten physical. But dammit, there's something about her...and those were fair questions!"

D'Argo shook his head. "I don't trust her exactly, either, but I do not believe she betrayed Aeryn. And we cannot afford to alienate her. She was with Aeryn more than Chiana or Noranti were. She may have seen something she hasn't realized is important."

Crichton snorted slightly, apparently amused with the idea of the over-educated Kalish being unaware that she knew something relevant. "Come on. I'll go apologize to Miss Britannica for going Neanderthal, and I'll eat something. How bad is that stew?"

"Pretty bad," D'Argo told him, relieved that John had unwound enough to think of something besides his missing mate, even if he didn't sound very sincere about the apology. "The grolak kind of masks the flavor, though," he added with half a smile.

The human grimaced, but headed back towards the center chamber to 'apologize' and finish the interrupted meal.

Under the circumstances, D'Argo counted that a victory.