Public Displays of Affection

This was an entry in the sap contest at Page O'Farscape (now gone) and it placed second. Crystal Moon's story, Late for Breakfast, quite rightfully won. I think it was 2001...

Public Displays of Affection

by Shipscat

I have no claim to Farscape. This is set a little in the future....

*****
John was in no hurry to get up, even though he knew they should have been up and around an arn ago. He was lazily admiring the raven hair spread across his pillow and idly speculating that having been born and raised in space was the cause of the porcelain perfection of Aeryn's skin. No damage from a harsh and unforgiving sun. John raised himself up on one elbow so he could see her better.

"Aeryn..." he whispered into her ear. "Are you awake?"

She rolled over, throwing an arm and a leg across him without opening her eyes. "No." she said.

John was transfixed by the dark eyelashes silhouetted against her cheek. He was thinking that the best thing about their relationship having reached this point was not the nights of passionate lovemaking, but the fact that he got to wake up beside her, seeing her soft, sleepy and heartbreakingly vulnerable. He was overwhelmed by the knowledge that he was the only one who ever got to see her that way. "We really should have been up an arn ago."

Aeryn slipped into his arms and pressed her body against his, "It's your fault," she said huskily, finally opening her eyes. "You kept me up last night."

Looking into her deep blue eyes that still seemed to reflect the afterglow from the night before, he changed his mind. The best part was definitely the passion. John planted the tenderest of kisses along the side of her faintly upturned lips. Aeryn closed her eyes again.

"You know, I've been thinking..." John said, "that we should settle down. You know, white picket fence, 2.4 kids, mini van, a dog....."

Aeryn opened her eyes again and gave him a puzzled look.

"Or what passes for a dog, out here."

"A vorlag?"

"Well, personally, I think a vorlag qualifies as a critter..but that's not the point. The point is that think we should think about getting on wiith our lives."

"The Peacekeepers are still out there-the Scarrens. Scorpius is still out there." Aeryn was really awake now.

"So what if he's out there. I'm not afraid of him now that he's not in here anymore," he said, pointing to his temple. "We could settle in the Free Zone. We'd be safer there than running supplies and people back and forth. No one's even threatened to cause any trouble since Talyn's been guarding the solar system."

"Do you want to leave Moya?" Aeryn asked softly.

"I want for us to make a home. To think about having children," John answered honestly, but with a little trepidation.

"Moya is home," Aeryn said, burying her face in his chest. "I'm happier here than I've ever been anywhere else."

John ran his hand down her back, stroking her hair.

"Besides, I think what we're doing here is important. And we have a lot to do today," she said, moving to get out of bed. "But we can talk about it later, if you want."

"Later's fine. I'm not going anywhere."

Later, Aeryn and D'argo were on a supply run when D'argo found her asleep at the controls. It wasn't a real problem since she had just been waiting for D'argo to load something, but it was uncharacteristic. D'argo suppressed an urge to say something about it. Crichton might take a joke about his sex life, but he knew Aeryn wouldn't. When he woke her up, she just remarked that she hadn't been feeling very well. D'argo's smirk disappeared when he noticed beads of sweat on Aeryn's nose.

"Are you too hot in here?" he asked, fiddling with the transport pods environmental controls.

"Now that you mention it."

On the return flight, D'argo kept sneaking glances at Aeryn. He found her behavior hauntingly familiar. When he was quite sure she wasn't watching, he sneaked a peek down the front of her vest. He wasn't sure, but he thought he saw a hint of pink, like a mild rash.

"Aeryn, when we get back, I think it would be a good idea to let Zhaan check you out."

"I'm fine, D'argo," she said, giving him an annoyed look. "I'm just a little tired, that's all."

"Aeryn-" He paused. "Please. Um..I think.."

"What?"

"Nothing. I just think it might be something important."

"Okay," she shrugged.

*****
D'argo was lurking outside Zhaan's medical bay when he heard a raised voice.

"I *can't* be!" Aeryn said. "It's not possible. I'm supposed to be protected against that."

He could hear Zhaan saying something in a low and comforting voice.

"Pregnant? You have to have done the test wrong. I am not...I can't possibly be-"

His suspicions confirmed, D'argo went away quietly, feeling a little sorry for Zhaan.

"Of course it's possible, my dear," Zhaan said, laying a reassuring hand on Aeryn's. "It's always possible if you're having sex. And we all know-"

"Yes, I know you all know." Aeryn cut her off. Ever since the day, a few monens ago, when she and Crichton had had a big argument about being discreet and he had won it by dragging her out in front of everyone and announcing that they loved each other and were having sex. To her surprise, everyone had said 'yeah, yeah, we know' or the equivalent, and gone back to what they were doing.

"Ever since Crichton felt fit to tell you all we were going at it like wild babbits, whatever those are. Just wait til I get my hands on him," Aeryn finished, not sure what she was mad at him about. Telling them? Getting her pregnant? "What about my implant?"

"Well, it may just have simply worn out. They're probably only good for a few years.

How often do they replace them?"

"Um.." Aeryn thought. This was certainly not something she'd ever had to think about before. "I really don't know. They were always poking and prodding at us. Maybe every couple of cycles?"

"Well, you've been on board Moya for three. But it isn't important how it happened, it happened. Believe me, you are pregnant. You are going to have a child."

Zhaan bent down and smiled directly into Aeryn's face as she sat on the table. "A baby."

"John's baby," Aeryn said softly, looking down at her flat stomach and smiling just a little. The smile slid off her face and was replaced with a look of despair. "This is a disaster. I don't know how to do this. I'll be terrible at it." She looked up at Zhaan with panic on her face. "I'll hurt it. I won't be able to give it what it needs. I never had anyone to..to .. teach me how to be a mother."

"We'll all help. I promise, you'll be just fine."

Aeryn was shaking her head. "What am I going to do?"

"You should tell John. He'll be very happy and it will make you feel better."

"No," Aeryn said definitively, jumping down from the table. At Zhaan's dispproving look, she said guiltily, "I will, just not yet. He might get upset about my going with him to pick up those refugees."

"Aeryn, I know this will make John very happy."

"I guess so," she said, biting her lip and walking away.

*****
The rescue of the refugees was harrowing but successful. Nevertheless. Aeryn was furious when they returned to Moya. It was left to the others to get their passengers settled in as she stomped off to their shared quarters with John behind her.

"What happened, Aeryn?" John asked quietly.

"I froze. I can't believe it." Aeryn was pacing, her ponytail swinging wildly.

"Why? Was it the height? Is it because of the fall you took off the cliff on the Royal planet?"

Aeryn shook her head and abruptly sat down on the bed, putting her head between her hands. "I just got up there and then I thought,what if I fall and hurt the baby?"

John sat down beside her on the bed. He seemed to have suddenly lost all power in his limbs. "Aeryn?" he started very carefully. "What baby?"

"Our baby," she said into her hands. She took a deep breath and faced him. "Zhaan says I'm pregnant."

John stared at her, at a loss for words. "That's wonderful," he said, getting mistyeyed. "Honey, that's..wow. I can't believe it."

"It's not wonderful, it's terrible." Aeryn stood up again. "I was totally useless out there. How am I going to keep you safe if I have to worry about me all the time. How can I fight when I'm pregnant?"

"I can take care of myself, Aeryn. I don't need you to take care of me all the time."

"Oh, really? The only time I wasn't there for you..you..recreated," she said vehemently "With that overly made up trelk."

"Aeryn,when that happened I didn't think it would ever hurt you because I didn't think I'd ever see you again. It wasn't your fault and nothing like it will ever happen again, I promise. You are the only woman I want. No one even comes close to comparing to you." John put his arms around her while her back was turned to him. "I need you, Aeryn, for more than just a bodyguard. I need you to love and to love me..and," he said, putting his hands on her tummy, "to be the mother of my child."

She relaxed against him. "Aeryn, we'll all take it easy for a while. We'll go hang with Crais and Talyn and wait for the baby to be born. Nobody goes anywhere, no strangers on board. You won't have to worry about me."

"We won't have to leave Moya? No pick it fence and stationary wagon and pet vorlag?"

"We won't leave Moya if you don't want to."

"I was born in space," she said consideringly.

"Aeryn," John asked hesitantly, "you do want this baby, don't you?"

"I will have no idea what to do with it when it gets here," she said. "Having a child...to keep...to love..isn't something I ever thought I would be able to do. It isn't even something I ever dreamed of doing."

"Ever?" he asked. "Not even with me-when we did the compatibility test, weren't you thinking about this possibility?"

"When I was a Peacekeeper," she clarified. She stroked the strong arm holding her and looked away, her eyes soft and unfocused. "When I saw you with Katralla and the image of the child you two would have together was the first ime I ever wished.."

"I didn't know you saw that," John said quietly.

"I wanted..." her voice broke. "I wanted to be her and holding your child, and I started thinking that maybe that was something that I wouldn't be able to give you and that you would be better off with her. And I didn't know-even if we could have children together if I could be a mother. ..I know I was never taught how to love."

"But you know now," he said into her hair. "You are more than what you were. You are very good at loving me, and you will be good at loving our child."

Aeryn shook her head a little.

"When I saw the holographic baby, Aeryn, I knew that it wasn't the right child. I could tell it was what a child of mine would be, but it was Katralla's and I knew she wasn't the right woman. I want a baby with your eyes and your smile and your strength and spirit. *This* is the baby I want."

She looked over her shoulder at him and smiled. "I want the baby,too," she said shyly.

"Good," he said, and kissed her on the cheek. "We need to make this official."

"That I'm pregnant?"

"No..us. We need to make it official. Let's get married."

"What-like with the Princess?" Aeryn asked.

"No," John said patiently. "A real wedding. Where we stand up in front of God and everybody and tell everyone that we love each other and we are always going to be together."

"Is it necessary?"

John thought about it for a minute. "I guess maybe not-not here at this end of the galaxy-but it is to me."

"Okay. How do we do it?"

"Well, Zhaan can come up with some kind of ceremony- I don't really care, I've never been religious-and we'll all participate. It'll be fun. Would you wear a dress?" he asked hesitantly.

"Like the dress on the fake earth?"

"Yes, but it should be white. It represents...a new beginning."

"If it's important to you."

John grabbed her by the hand and pulled her out of the room. "Let's go tell everyone."

John held a blushing Aeryn by the hand and confronted their gathered shipmates.

"We already know," D'argo said. "I sent her to Zhaan. She acted just like Lolahn when she was pregnant with Jothee," he said, looking fondly at his son.

"I diagnosed it," Zhaan reminded them, her hands folded placidly, practically vibrating with positive energy.

"I was eavesdropping," Chiana said, grinning.

"Chiana told me," Rygel said. and didn't even make any nasty comments about body breeders.

"Dad told me," Jothee added.

"May Moya and I be the first to congratulate you," Pilot said.

*****
So they got married, in Pilot's chamber, with Zhaan officiating. D'argo and Jothee stood up for John, Chiana was the Maid of Honor, and Rygel was the ringbearer and didn't even make off with the rings. John hadn't been sure that rings were necessary. He had told Aeryn that they were a symbol of their devotion to each other, but no one else would understand what they meant. When Aeryn quietly pointed out that they would know what they meant, John decided on the rings.
Aeryn was beautiful in the gown they had fashioned, even though the material was a little clingy and translucent, making her the sexiest bride he had ever seen. Not that she wouldn't have been that anyway. They had a little dispute over the combat boots, Aeryn finally deciding to go barefoot. John almost laughed when she came down the aisle with a gun strapped to her ankle, showing clearly through the dress.

John was resplendent in a modified peacekeeper's uniform, looking both handsome and dignified. The refugees were happy to be an audience and Zhaan gave them a Delvian blessing. John had decided that after the ceremony Zhaan had prepared, he still wanted to hear the old words, at least as well as he could remember them. Aeryn had agreed after he told her what they were.

It brought John to tears when Aeryn said with absolute certainty,"Til death do us part." A middle aged woman among the refugees, one holding a striped animal in her arms, broke into noisy tears and briefly stopped the ceremony. John realised that they should have gone over the ceremony a little more when Zhaan announced that he could kiss the bride, and Aeryn froze.

"In front of everyone?" she said, in a mortified whisper.

Repressing the urge to tell her that it wouldn't be long before they had the most obvious kind of public display of affection running around on Moya, John turned to her and smiled. He moved a stray lock of hair so he could look into the wide and innocent eyes staring up at him. "It's like a handshake, honey," he shrugged. "You have to do it to seal the deal."

"Oh," she said, looking a little alarmed. Tossing down the bouquet they had made from Zhaan's herbs, she put her arms around his neck and kissed him passionately, melding her body to his and making him totally forget that they had an audience, until faintly, his senses reeling, he thought he heard applause.