My John

This is a little snippet written right after John..sniff..died.

Aeryn sat beside the unconscious and dying body of John Crichton and all that she could think was, 'not again. How could she go through this again?'

He had been in this state when they arrived on Moya- D'argo and Chiana frantic with worry and the only help she had been able to offer was the depressing news of the fate of the John on Talyn.

"Open your eyes, damn you," she hissed, then desisted because she was afraid to disturb Stark, who was attempting to contact John as he lay in his coma. In a few microts Stark spoke.

"This is strange...Crichton..both Crichtons..are still tied to this body. Their life forces are still close enough to come back."

"What, do you mean, both?" Aeryn asked shakily.

"Your John - the one who was on Talyn with us- is unable to pass over as well. His life force is linked to this body."

A spark of hope rose up in the leaden depths of her heart. Was it selfish to ask? Did she care?

"Then bring him back," she said harshly.

Stark refused to look at her as he answered. "There's a problem. Neither one of them want to come back. One is ready to move on- the other feels there is nothing for him here."

Aeryn's lip trembled and her heart sank. She was about to lose it, she was sure of it. through the pounding in her ears she dimly heard Stark saying something about her doing something, about a choice.

"You should talk to them," Stark said.

"You mean, like a unity thing?" she asked, a little puzzled. Stark, evidently taking this as consent, opened his mask and his brilliance engulfed her before she could give another thought as to what they were doing.

She found herself in a landscape of clouds and blue sky, walking on virtually nothing. It wasn't anything like what she remembered of her time with Zhaan when she was dead. She could swear she heard soft music in the background.

Right in front of her was the Farscape module and John. Clad in his flight suit and with an unscarred and unblemished face, he was throwing a bag into the cockpit.

"Hey baby, how ya doin?" he said, a grin splitting his face.

"John!" she yelled and launched herself at him. He held her as if she weighed nothing and spun her around while she rained kisses on his face. She held his face in her hands and rested her forehead on his. "Come back ," she said urgently.

"Oh, baby I can't," he said gently, "My time is up. I'm ready for the next great adventure."

"I don't want you to go," she whispered, stroking his face and looking deeply into his eyes.

"It's not my turn, Aeryn. I had my life. It's the other one's turn now. He's lost everything. His destiny, his happiness, hope for the future- it turns out this universe isn't big enough for two John Crichtons," he smiled. "You're going to be fine. He loves you just as much as I do."

"But *I* love *you*."

"You love both of us, honey. You loved me a long time before we were doubled."

She nodded reluctantly. "I- left him. Are you sure he still loves me?"

"I'm sure. And I would know."

"Would you come back anyway? For me?"

"I couldn't refuse you, Aeryn. But it wouldn't be the right thing to do."

"Then it's goodbye, again," she said, although she was feeling strangely calm and no longer felt like crying.

A few whispered endearments and a lingering kiss later, she let him go.

"He's over there," John said, pointing to a lone figure off in the distance. "Make sure he gets my stuff, and tell Stark I'm ready for launch."

He put his helmet on and climbed into the cockpit. He gave her a thumbs up.

"Tell Zhaan I love her when you see her," Aeryn said, misty-eyed. He nodded and closed the cockpit, and she watched as the module took off silently and flew away. She walked over to where the lonely figure was silhouetted against the sky.

She could feel the loneliness and raw need as a palpable force. It was a twin to her own feelings of loss and grief. She had no idea what to say or do, so she very simply asked, "Will you come with me?" and took his hand in hers.

And found herself looking into familiar blue eyes that she didn't think she was ever going to see again. They were looking at her with an equal mixture of wariness and hope.

"Welcome back," she said, her voice shaking.

"I have something for you, from the other John," Stark said."They are his memories of the time you were here and he was on Talyn. He thought you both might want to have them."

John looked at her with pain in his face. "I think I would like to make my own memories with Aeryn," he said with effort.

Aeryn looked at his pleading face, still holding his hand, and said, "Me, too."