Hearts and Cookies and Yotz

1st posted Friday, Feb. 20, 2004, at the FWA board.

This is set first season, and I wrote it a little late for Valentine's day-hope you still enjoy it.

Definitely G-rated, and the usual disclaimers.

"I thought you were making bikkits?" Aeryn asked, picking up a small piece of raw dough and rolling it between her fingers.

"Biscuits," John corrected absently. "I think these are going to be cookies. " He examined the results of his experimental cooking carefully and tasted some of the springy dough, licking his fingers afterward. "Nah..it's too sweet for biscuits, and I'm not sure they're going to rise that much anyway. Besides, you can't make good biscuits without crisco. Say, could you hand me the rolling pin?" There was a certain satisfaction to knowing that rolling pin design was the same the universe over-there was no mistaking the purpose of the kitchen tool that she handed him.

John liked these kind of moments. Not much was going on aboard Moya, and Aeryn had wandered into the galley, obviously at a loss for anything to do. He suspected that she was not used to dealing with much in the way of leisure time, and that she was often at a loss as to what to do with herself if there wasn't something to take care of on Moya. Not that they all didn't have that problem from time to time, but the ex-prisoners on Moya were accustomed to isolation and having to entertain themselves. Aeryn seemed to think she was a DRD or a ship's component-she had to be working constantly. Occasionally she would find him and watch whatever he was doing as if he were an exotic display. He didn't ask if it was entertainment value or if she just wanted the company.

"Aren't biscuits and cookies the same thing?" she asked. John wasn't sure, but he thought she was shaping her piece of dough into a pulse pistol.

"Not in America," he said. Having rolled the dough into a somewhat even flatness, he started searching for something to cut the cookies with. He found a canister lid with an indentation on one side, and tried it out on the flattened dough. It cut cleanly, with a good size for a cookie..but the dent on the side caused an irregularity in the shape. He took a little dough off the larger part to make both sides symmetrical, and pointed one end.

"Look, Aeryn," he said, showing it to her on the flat of his palm. "It's heart shaped."

She looked up and quirked an eyebrow at him. "Human hearts are shaped like that?" she asked skeptically.

"Well, no," he admitted. "It's a symbol."

She was still staring at him.

John thought about how to explain while he grabbed a tool that was much like a pair of pliers and further changed the shape of the canister's lid.

"We like to think of the heart as the seat of emotion," he said, "I have no idea why..but we'd say that something made your heart beat faster, or that your heart was broken..that you pledge your heart to someone."

Aeryn nodded. "We do that, too. We pledge our hearts and minds to the Peacekeepers."

I'll bet you do, he thought to himself. "But not your souls?" he asked lightly.

"No," she said enigmatically.

"Well, anyway, the heart is a symbol..and you'd use it as a gesture of affection, or more than just affection, you know, a romantic thing. Like Valentine's day. "

He could tell from the blank look that he'd totally lost her now. Satisfied with the shape, he started cutting cookies while he rambled. "Yeah, I don't suppose you'd have had Valentine's in the Peacekeepers. Gosh, I remember it when I was a kid..the thrill of finding out what was in your mysterious box, the fear of finding no valentines and thinking no one liked you..even though your mom always made you give one to *everyone* in the class, no matter how much you hated them. But they didn't get the good cards, or the ones with two candy hearts in them, those would be for someone special. And if there was someone special, you were afraid to make *too* much of a fuss.."

"Why?" Aeryn asked. He could tell he had her full attention, she wasn't even twiddling her fingers anymore. "Why be afraid?"

"Well, I guess for the same reason that you hope that the girl you're approaching across the gym floor really wants to dance with you. It's no fun being shot down, especially in front of everyone."

"Why don't you just ask the next girl to dance?"

"That's fine, but it doesn't help much if you really really wanted that particular girl to dance with you. So you know, sometimes you want to be careful."

John took the flat piece of metal he was using for a cookie sheet and placed it in the oven. He parked himself on a stool beside the oven, facing Aeryn, and prepared to wait where he could watch the cookies baking. He had no idea what temperature the symbols on the oven meant, or for that matter how long it would take for them to cook, given the ingredients he used.

"I wasn't always careful. There was a time when I wore my heart on my sleeve, before I knew better. 1st grade. It was Tiffany Miller. Our desks were next to each other. I was six or seven, I think."

"I didn't know humans started as early as Luxans."

"Oh, it was nothing like that." He waved the idea away with his hand. "We were just kids. I had a crush on her. She was cute, and smart. Tiny little thing. Delicate. I think she was the smallest girl in the class."

Aeryn frowned at him.

"But you know, looks aren't important. She was sweet. Very sweet. I thought she was wonderful."

Aeryn's scowl grew deeper.

"Sweet's probably overrated," John backpedaled.

"What color was her hair?" Aeryn asked suspiciously.

"Blonde. She had beautiful curls."

"Uh-huh," Aeryn said.

"Well, golden brown. Maybe it got darker when she got older."

"And you gave her a heart? A valentime?"

"Yup. We made them in class that year. We made them with faces and eyeballs on accordioned construction paper so that they popped out-we thought that was great, I don't know why..and I made the biggest, most gaudy valentine I possibly could. Used up a whole can of glitter, and several doilies. I shudder to think what that looked like now..but I found out what happens when you let everyone in on your secret crush. When she opened that thing everyone laughed and I got teased for weeks."

John didn't see Aeryn's reaction to that because the cookies were turning golden brown. He whisked them out of the oven, yelping as he accidentally hit the side of his hand on the hot metal, and scraped the cookies onto the counter.

"So you were sorry you let her know what you felt?" Aeryn asked quietly while his back was turned.

"Oh, no," he denied. The cookies would be cool enough to try in a little while, and they looked pretty good. He turned around grinned at her. "I'd do it again in a heartbeat."

"Why? When it embarrassed you?"

"Because it worked. *She* didn't laugh. We were 'boyfriend and girlfriend'. We stood next to each other in line, and held hands under the desk when we thought no one was looking-it was great."

Aeryn jumped down from her stool, ponytail bobbing. "Are you done with this?" she asked, putting away the ingredients he had left scattered on the counter and grimacing at the mess.

"Sure,' he said, picking up a bite of hot cookie and trying it. Not bad, maybe a little dry.

"This lid is never going to fit on the container again," she complained.

Oops..he hadn't thought about that. "Well, it will always be a great cookie cutter," he shrugged.

"Is she still your girlfriend? Was she, when you left earth, I mean?" Aeryn asked with elaborate casualness, stretching to put a canister on the high shelf over the counter.

"Nope," John said to her back. "I blew it. I sat in her chair one day before class-just teasing, you know, and the teacher yelled at Tiffany for talking in class when she told me to move. She didn't like getting in trouble. Things were never the same between us after that."

"Oh," Aeryn said. "That's too bad." But she smiled when she turned around, and didn't seem at all upset at his long ago misfortune.

John picked out the nicest looking heart and handed it to her. "Here, have a cookie. I think they're cool enough to eat now."

Aeryn regarded the cookie seriously and then accepted it. She took it over to the counter and wrapped it carefully in a kitchen cloth. "I think I'll save it for later," she said, as she left the galley.

"Later is fine," John replied. He looked after her for a long moment after she had gone.

"Valentime's," he said to himself, shaking his head and smiling.