First Impressions

Summary: I always was struck by Aeryn stating that her past relationships had been "painful" in TWWW. And wondered what could have happened to make use those words. Plot bunnies got busy and this is what came up

Time Frame: AU waaaayyyy in Aeryn's past

Rating: R

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She stands stock-still and ramrod straight and tries hard to ignore the sound of rustling paper coming from her left. She was tall for her age but far to young to be considered for this assignment and if she fails to impress she will be back in the barracks in less time than it's taking the duty officer to find her name.

He'd caught her by the arm as she came off the training field and her body had instinctively snapped to attention despite her burning lungs and straining muscles.

"Sun isn't it?"

"Yes sir."

"I was watching. Good job out there."

"Rank, Regiment?" He snaps addressing her at last.

"Sun, Aeryn Unit 4695837," She is annoyed by his laziness. She has no insignia and her uniform is gray. He should already know that she is just a cadet.

"Oh yes" She can feel him staring at her, the familiar sensation of being weighed and measured. " The Prowler pilot candidate."

He'd nodded at her in the hallway as her unit had marched past causing Henta and Rhynn to cut their eyes at her in surprise and her feet to almost lose step.

"Was that'?" Henta'd breathed

"Shhh," if they were caught talking during formation it would mean a demerit for their barracks and the others would never forgive them for that.

"But wasn't it ...?"

"Shhh."

"Age?" The officer asks and he's obviously found the right piece of paper because the rustling has stopped.

"15 cycles."

He makes a sound deep in his throat, something between doubt and disapproval. "Bit young isn't it?"

She doesn't answer that.

He'd fallen in behind her in the mess line and she could feel her unit mates envious stares. They all knew who he was, and what his insignia meant.

"Sun, right?"

She'd felt the blush touch her cheeks and then embarrassment force them redder. She backed up a step, the close proximity to him befuddling her brain.

"You already know that sir." She didn't know why he spoke to her, she was no one ... and he was twice her age.

"I've had a report done on you."

She'd almost dropped her tray her mouth going dry with fear," Have you sir?"

"Very interesting results, we should discuss them some time."

She snapped to attention, "As you wish."

He laughed and then dismissed her with a mock salute. "Your unit's waiting little flibisk, cadet dismissed.

"Simulator marks are excellent," the officer grunts, "Commando training third level, marksmanship top of your class. Been flying lo atmo transport since you were 10." He coughed and she could feel his eyes on her again. "I have to admit that's pretty impressive."

She felt her chin tilt a bit higher than regulation demanded. Frelling right it was impressive, no other cadet in her company had such a record, the closest to her was over 240 points back. She'd worked for this, earned it, young or not he had to see that.

Henta had brought her the summons along with the level four pass that would get her into the officer's block. It had been deceptively simple.

Synjin Tal requests your presence at 1700. Level 6 Unit 10.

"Are you in trouble then Aeryn?"Henta had prodded her voice thick with jealousy.

"Don't think so."

"Well what does he want with YOU then?"

"How am I supposed to know?"

"You like him don't you?"

"Well I admire him, he's legendary."

"That's not what I mean."

"Oh don't be absurd."

"You like him admit it!" Henta had held the piece of paper just out of
reach

"Henta give it here ..."

"Not till you admit it."

"He's the best Pilot in the Pleisers of course I like him now give..."

"Best pilot AND most handsome!."

"Henta"

"Aeryn,"

"Alright, he's HANDSOME now GIVE ..."

He is standing now, walking around her his feet marking out a measured cadence. She keeps her face blank and her breathing measured. Peacekeeper regulation 46B. Never show fear when an opponent is in your presence.

//She'd stood nervously at attention and he'd leaned against the doorway and laughed with an openness that brought back her blush. He'd ushered her in and told her to sit on the bunk and she'd obeyed partly out of habit and partly because her knees were beginning to shake.

"You've made quite a name for yourself Sun." He was barefoot and wearing exercise gear and he spoke with the bluntness typical for those with his rank.

"A name sir?"

He'd laughed, "Relax, that's not bad."

"Yes, your record's impressive Sun I won't deny that. But it's only the best that make the cut your seeking. And I'm not convinced you're that yet."

And her heart faltered but she showed no emotion. He hadn't dismissed her so she hadn't failed yet.

He'd settled himself next to her on the narrow bunk and regarded her very seriously.

"I liked what I saw in the training facility. I pulled your unit's records and you're metra's above the rest. He'd paused and taken another swig of the felip nectar on the bed stand. "That's saying something cadet I'm not easily impressed."

And she'd flushed with pride in spite of herself after all he was elite. The best of the best.

"Pleisers need good pilots. Steady ones, brave. Got to have an instinct for it, otherwise you end up dead.

"What I need to know cadet is what sets you apart from every other stellar candidate from five different regiments I've seen in the last weaken. What makes you different that I should choose you over them? Not your field points, they're excellent. But not highest I've seen and your class work is adequate at best. So why should I give you this opportunity Sun. What makes you stand out Sun? Can you tell me that?"

She'd worked enough courage to ask him about life in the Pliesars and to her delight he'd obliged her for the next half ahrn. Told her stories of regimental glory and gave her first hand experiences from battles about which she'd read. He spoke flying missions against alien cultures and the best way to win at drinking competitions. He loved what he did, and that relaxed her enough to tell him the truth when he asked her why she wanted to fly.

"Because there's freedom out there."

And to her surprise he didn't laugh, he didn't even smile. He'd simply leaned over and caught at hair that had escaped from her braid.

"I knew you had it," he'd whispered gently, "I knew you'd understand. How the ship's something you love ... more than just a tool in your hands. You're wasted here Sun. I'll have to see if I can't do something about that."

"Sir," she said fighting to keep her voice carefully neutral to keep a tight reign on her disappointment and rage. "My record is flawless, my instructor's have recommended me for ..."

"Yes, yes girl I know," the officer cut her off curtly. "I don't think you're listening to a word I'm saying. Your record is good, but so is everyone else's. You've got to give me something better than that. And if you are I suggest you hurry, I haven't got all day."

He'd leaned close enough to smell. Chakan oil and leather. Felip nectar and Tamar nuts and the indefinable scent of a fully-grown man.

She stared out at the stars and then back at the man who held her fate in his hands. He was short and fat and looked as though he hadn't left this room in more cycles than she'd been alive. He was looking at her with an impudent grin, her discomfort causing him some sort of sick pleasure. She held his gaze for a microt and then looked out at the stars again. Looked at them and fingered the piece of paper in her hand.

The kiss had surprised her; he'd given no warning. Just suddenly pressed her lips against his. She'd gasped a bit in shock and he'd taken her opening, darting his tongue against her teeth in quick little flits.

"Don't be frightened," he'd whispered as her body had stiffened. "You know we both want this."

"Sir I have a recommendation." The words were thick in her throat but she said them anyway.

Why he'd wanted this from her she would never understand. But she was 15 and it had to happen someday. No reason for it not to be this man.

"I've seen your recommendations already ..."

"I hadn't included this one. You haven't seen it yet."

She'd stared at the ceiling while he'd suckled her neck, not knowing how she should react or what to do with her hands. His body was heavy and trapped her completely so it was a relief when he levered up to look at her instead.

"Yes, you're special Sun." his breath warmed her face, " I knew it when we met."

"Well?"

She stared at the duty officer's outstretched hand and fingered the piece of paper once more. She didn't want to give it to him. Didn't like what it meant. Wanted to believe she could do this without any help. Then she stared out at the stars again.

She'd groaned when his mouth found her breast the unexpected sensation quickening her heart and sending moisture pooling between her thighs. He'd sent a hand down, roughly testing her readiness then made room for himself by kneeing apart her legs."

She brought the paper up feeling it's smooth texture against her palm and slowly held it out to him.

"And you think this will change my mind?" The pompous fool sounded smug and she grit her teeth against the urge to hit him.

"I think it just might".

He'd pushed at her hard and some instinct rocked her hips up and she'd fixed her gaze on the stars outside. Then came the stretching, the burning and pain. But she didn't want to upset him so she'd kept the cry inside.

She watched his expression as he opened the note, watched with some satisfaction as it changed from smug to flummoxed to fear.

She'd arched her hips higher partially to ease her cramping muscles and partially in response to some dim pleasure inside. His rhythm was fast and she'd grunted with the force of it, digging her heels into his thighs for purchase able to do nothing more than hang on for the ride.

"I give you credit Sun," The duty officers voice held a grudging note of respect and her opinion of him lowered another notch. "This is one recommendation I didn't expect."

He had spoken but she hadn't been able to understand what he was saying. Her body to wrapped up with what was going on inside. It had quickened then deepened and then it was over. He went rigid and collapsed on her with a cry.

"Very respectful of you he is ... glowing praise. Very nice."

His weight had been stifling, his body trembling and heated. She thought she should speak but didn't know what to say. So she lay there feeling him grow less inside her and stared at the ceiling until he finally pushed away.

"Will you recommend me for duty sir?" She hated asking. Didn't want him to think that she was desperate enough to beg. But he hadn't said anything in several microts and she had to know what was going on in his head.

He looked up and sighed, "We have rules here Sun and he's asking a big exception. If you fail, my superiors will want to know why."

She'd gotten up when he went to shower, found a towel in the corner. Used it to rid herself of the sticky residue he'd left on her thighs. She dressed slowly and carefully. They were finished and she had to get back to her unit on time.

"But sir I ..."

He put a hand up to stop her. "But if I deny Synjin Tal, it could mean my life".

He'd pressed the paper into her hand. "Take it to the duty officer in three days. There should be an opening in a few moens, no need to waste time. I'm counting on you Sun, don't disappoint me."

"I won't"

He'd smiled at her seriousness. And she'd relaxed, he wouldn't be laughing if he hadn't had a good time. He kissed her gently and touched her face. "I'm glad you came. It was nice to be with someone who understands things. It's been a long time since I ..." He stopped and dropped his head and then went to open the door for her. "It's late. You'd better go now. Good luck and good-bye

"You must be special Sun," the officer's voice sounded envious. "He never gives recommendations ... Not even to cadets who ... show him a good time."

It was dinner time and she'd started for the mess hall but changed her mind half way and went to the bathing chambers instead. She'd let the hot water rush over her, leaned her head into the tiles and started crying although she couldn't say why. He was Synjin Tal, Captain of the Pliesars. He'd said she was special. She should be feeling something other than empty inside.

She doesn't allow herself to flush at his insinuation. "Sir, he pulled my evaluation. Saw me on the training field. He thinks I'm good enough to fly.

"Well?" Henta's voice had been high pitched with curiosity.

"Well what?"

"Are you going to tell me what you've been doing all this time?

"I've been in the library."

"All through dinner?"

"I wasn't hungry."

"Aeryn!!!!!"

"He evaluated my record."

"And?"

"And he said I'm make a good pilot."

"And that's it?"

"Yes, now stop making a big deal out of it."

"But he asked for you personally that must mean your special."

"It means nothing."

It had surprised her later how easy it had been to lie.

He doesn't hand the paper back and she doesn't ask for it. Now that it's gone she feels lighter somehow. The officer stamps his papers and signs in the proper places.

"Take these to the training officer. You got lucky this time,"

Two moen's later she's handed a new ident chip.

"Welcome to Icarian Company Officer Sun," says the training officer. "Let's go find your ship.

She follows him and he pauses as he reads over the paperwork, "Fifteen? You're the youngest yet. They never send them for Prowler training before 17. What are you Sun special?"

She reaches out a hand and touches the cold metal. Closes her eyes and pictures the stars.

And he's waiting for an answer so she gives him one.

"Yes."