Rated NC-17
John finds a momentary comfort
Disclaimer: Not mine
The Only
He was going to die, he just knew it.
John sighed as he slid in and out of the warm body beneath him. She was wet and tight and he felt his balls pull up in anticipation of the event he'd waited for for more cycles than he cared to think about. It had been so long since he had felt the weight of a breast in his hands, sucked a nipple deep in his mouth or felt the smooth warm liquid walls of a pussy close around his cock. Suddenly the sensations became too much and he couldn't wait any longer to make sure the woman came with him. His body took over and he arched his back feeling the electric sensation of fluid moving in his body and come shooting out deep inside her. He came in long hard streams, over and over, filling her, coating himself until he was floating in the warm cream. Until he thought he'd die of it.
****************
Well, thank god that was over. If he could have moved at all he would have laughed. When had incredible sex become something he was glad to be done with?
He felt Lania against him, her leg draped across his and her knee resting intimately against the boys. Her head lay on her shoulder and he could feel her breath blowing lightly against his chest.
And he felt like shit.
God, what a mess. He should be pulling her closer and falling asleep. Instead he was counting down the seconds until he could slowly move her off of him and he could get away.
He was an asshole, there was no question. He should never have let her lead him down the garden path. Literally. It didn't matter that he'd been avoiding her for monens, constantly ignoring the way his body hardened at the temptation. He should have had more sense. He had thought that he was over being lead around by his dick and being lured by bountiful bosoms. Apparently he'd been wrong. She'd followed him through the lush flowers and smiled at him, teased him and his body had beat his objections over the head until he'd let her guide him to her cottage.
It was the first time he'd been laid since Radee back in the tenth cycle of this cursed existence. He should be jumping up and down or at least making plans to do it again. Not laying here whining to himself because something wasn't right. He refused to let himself think what it was.
He could tell from Lania's breathing that she was deeply asleep now and he eased her limbs away from him and sat up. The darkness seemed to close in on him and the scent of sex seemed to fill his head until he wanted to choke. He had to get out of here.
He pulled on his pants, the rough cloth just one more reminder of why he didn't belong here. Grabbing his boots he felt for obstacles as he navigated through the strange rooms and made his way to the front door. Opening it as quietly as he could he stepped out into the night and bent over to pull the old threadbare boots over his bare feet. He'd learned the hard way it didn't pay to walk barefoot around here. Once that was taken care of he began moving. He didn't know where he was going; just that he had to move. He hadn't gone far when he came to the play area that was used by all the children in this quadrant. He'd built them as much play equipment as he could remember from his childhood and he been touched at how pleased and excited everyone had been when he'd explained how they worked. Now they were just dark images looming against the dark gray sky. Light would come soon and he'd need to go back, but for now he just wanted to be alone.
He wandered over to a swing and sat down wrapping his hands around the vines that held the seat. He breathed in the cool fresh air and swung for a few minutes before slowly letting himself come to a stop. He sat there for a long time, lost in his thoughts until he felt a presence nearby. Somehow he wasn't surprised to find 'her' there next to him. She slowly eased down in the seat next to him, her white hair shining in the dim light. He could just make out her face, but he turned away from her quickly afraid she would see his face and know what he had been doing this night.
Not that Aeryn would say anything. Hell, she'd encouraged him for cycles to find a pretty young bride and settle down, but he just couldn't do it. And mostly he was content as long as he had her to talk to, to discuss things with, to laugh with and cry with. Someone to understand why he railed so at what fate had dealt him. There was only one thing she wouldn't do for him and God help him, but sometimes he was glad. Making love to his grandmother had never been high on his priority list. But other times, times when he wasn't looking, he�d hear the sound of her voice low and husky and he thought he could have gotten around the age thing. Hell, he was getting older now too and it wouldn't be much longer before it didn't matter a twat. His hair would match hers in a dozen more years. And what was a dozen years more or less. Less than nothing when every hour was an eternity.
The silence stretched out and he finally broke. "Couldn't sleep?"
She didn't answer him for a long time.
"You were with Lania."
Hell.
He wanted to lie. Wanted to say no, of course not. I would never even look at another woman.
"Yeah."
No point in lying. Lania wasn't famous for keeping her mouth shut. He couldn't help the instinctive clench in his gut as he thought of what she had done with that mouth. God.
He wasn't sure what to say next. He couldn't read her face. Couldn't tell if he had hurt her. He never wanted to hurt her and he knew all about that pain. He felt it every time someone mentioned her dearly departed dead husband. The bastard. John knew he should be grateful that the dead guy had taken care of Aeryn all those years. That he had loved her and given her children. He wasn't that good a person. He'd have rather the fucker had never been born. The thought of Aeryn making love with her husband, having someone else's children, well...he'd have to learn to live with it.
He looked over at her. The light grew brighter and he could see her face more clearly. She didn't seem to be in the throes of jealousy. Crap.
So, what was wrong with him? Did he want her to be jealous?
Maybe.
Didn't she care that he'd just had sex with another woman?
Then he saw the wetness shining on her cheek and cursed himself. Well, I hope you're happy boyo. You made her cry.
"Aww, baby. Don't cry. I'm sorry. I'll tell her it's over. Right now."
He started to get up, his heart aching and in a rush to tell the bitch he never wanted to see her again. Aeryn was hurting and he couldn't stand that. She put a hand on his arm to hold him in place.
"No. Don't do that. I don't want you to do that."
He stopped and sank back down. "I'm sorry." What utterly useless words.
"You don't need to be sorry." She managed a halfhearted smile. �I�ve been trying to fix you up for a long time. It's just...." Her eyes closed. "I didn't know how much it would hurt."
"Baby..."
"And I have no right for it to hurt. None at all. It's so....stupid."
She was mad at herself for still caring. God he loved her so much.
"Come here." He reached out for her and lifted her to his lap. He brushed a strand of gray hair from her face and pressed her to his chest. They stayed like that for a long moment that could have been hours or seconds. Time didn't matter. Only Aeryn mattered.
"It didn't mean anything. You know that. She's a nice girl and I�. needed someone. You know... I recreated with her. That's all. It's...it's nothing like when you and I..."
"Ssshh" She pressed a finger to his lips. "I know. It's okay."
And it was. They didn't say it out loud, but they both knew that none of the others came close to sharing what was between them.
She pushed herself up and stood. "I've got to get back to the house. Ennix will be worrying."
"I'll walk you back."
He took her hand in his and they walked slowly, talking of the weather and the coming fair. Inconsequential things that made up their lives now.
And he knew that he would go back to the little house down the street and he would use the woman's soft body again whether that made him a bastard or not. He also knew, that it wouldn't last long and he wouldn't care when it ended. Whether he could ever say the words or not he knew there was only room in his heart for one woman and young or old... she was the only.
The End
Chris
imloco2
Author
