Date originally posted at Kansas: September 25, 2003Replies: 55Views: 3169
Thanks to the Bunnies for the feedback. Particulary Crash, Crystalmoon and ac. You made it much better.
Rated: R for a little sex
Spoilers: Set during Aeryn's summer vacation
Some will call it AU, I call it fact. *g*
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Everything Old...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Frell.”
It wasn’t possible. That was the only thought that came to mind as she watched the tousled brown head weave and bob amid the ruins of the village. At first she thought it was one of her waking dreams, she’d had so many lately that she was getting used to them, but the snarling curses when a pulse blast got too close had convinced her he was really here and headed her way.
A leap and a rolling tumble and then he was there in front of her, close enough for her to touch. And after so long apart all she could do was find a helmet from a soldier who wouldn’t be needing it anymore and jam it on his head to disguise his famous face.
“This way. Follow me!” she shouted over the whine of firing weapons and screams of soldiers dying around them. He nodded his head in agreement and she took off back to base camp with him close behind her.
She could only hope it didn’t take them as long to get there as it felt. Time was not moving at its proper speed and she couldn’t tell if it was an actual phenomenon or shock. She’d thought by now she’d be over being able to be shocked, but apparently he could still do it to her. They entered her quarters which weren’t much more than a small tent at the end of a large row of them. They both came to a halt in the middle of the room and he ripped his helmet off.
And for the second time in less than an arn he did it to her again. She was shocked.
John Crichton. She knew this man next to her, had spent cycles learning his mind and monens mapping his body. Had loved him, watched him die and seen him alive once more. And here he was. John.
And yet, it wasn’t.
This man was older than the one she knew, with streaks of gray marking his temples and lines added to his face. Not everything had changed though. His body was still hard and if anything leaner than she’d ever seen him. But his lips were still soft and full and his eyes were still that strange shade of blue that she’d only seen in one other. And they were looking at her now with a sorrow and pain that seemed to flow out of him. Something wasn’t right here. It had only been 7 monens since she’d left. She was sure that even humans didn’t age this fast. What the frell had happened to him?
Was it was him?
“John?”
She raised a hand to his face and he was still as her fingers smoothed his hair and tenderly traced a line down his cheek. She breathed in and caught the unique fragrance of sweat and soap and something indefinable that was John.
“Aeryn,” he whispered.
His eyes were over bright and the wall around her heart that had been crumbling little by little for monens now cracked a little more. Frell, but he was beautiful still. She thought he always would be. She wanted to look at him forever, but reality intruded with the muffled sound of an explosion. There was no time to star gaze, they had to move.
“We can’t stay here.” She looked around the room and made a mental note of what was essential. “The fight will be over soon and the others will be back. We’ve got to go.” She pulled away to grab a pack but he caught her arm. She swung back around to him and felt his lips hard against hers. She barely had time to register it before he stepped back to give her room to maneuver.
When she only stood and looked at him quizzically he grinned. “Just in case,” was all he said, as if that explained everything.
And it did.
They traveled light, stopping only to grab some food and water. She didn't know how long it would be before the others figured out that she had run. Frell, she wasn't even sure she was running. All she knew was that she had to get John out of there and quickly. They would kill him if they knew he had found them and it wouldn't matter that he'd come for her and not them. Secrecy was how they lived and they had a habit of shooting first and asking questions later. Like she had in a different life.
She couldn't let that happen. She didn't know why he was here or what had happened to him, but she wasn't going let anyone hurt him. Ever.
They were half a metra from camp when Aeryn slowed down, pointed to a rocky cliff face and started towards it.
"Where are we going?" he asked, breathing heavily.
"When I first arrived here I was scouting for escape routes and found an abandoned cave. As far as I know I'm the only one to have found it."
"As far as you know?"
She grinned at him and nodded, dismissing the possibility that someone else would show up. If they did, they did. She’d just have to kill them.
They stood at the bottom of the cliff and looked up. “How did you get here?” she asked.
He looked up at where they had to climb and let out a sigh. “Do you mean here here? Or...” he waved his hand in an arc “...here?”
“Oh, you’re John Crichton all right. I’m sure that made perfect sense to you.” She gave him that disgusted look he remembered so well. “Just answer the question.”
“Well, I flew my Module here to Rignall. Wasn’t that hard to find you. You guys are getting a bit of a reputation you know. You might be interested to know that Pipe Cleaner man on Limbus has a big mouth….or whatever. Once I got here I managed to hide the module in the ravine just south of your camp. At least I’m hoping it’s still hid.”
She found an indent in the rock and pulled herself up. "There are too many guards out to get to it now. We can stay there until dark and see if it’s still there. Otherwise we'll just double back and pick up a Prowler."
He grabbed a hunk of rock and started after her. “Piece of cake, no problem,” he grunted.
She glanced down and shot him a look.
“Damn, baby. I didn't mean to cause you all this trouble. I didn't know you were going to be in the middle of a gunfight."
She stopped to give him a raised eyebrow which said more than words. "Of course you didn't."
By the time they had climbed the rocky cliff and slid into the thin opening John was gasping for breath. He looked over at her noticing she wasn’t breathing hard at all.
"Oh God, I'm getting too old for this shit."
“Yes, well. Speaking of old...” She arched an eyebrow at him and waited.
“I know. I know. This face has more lines on it than Ma Bell.”
She muttered something unintelligible.
“Let’s just get in, okay? I’ll explain.”
It was cool and dark inside the cave. Aeryn sat a light globe on the floor and the soft light cast a glowing circle around them that ended just past their bodies. The light would go no further and wouldn't give them away if it was still on when it got dark. All they had to do now was wait.
And talk.
Their breathing evened out and soon all they could hear was the silence as they looked at each other in the soft light. He bent slowly and slid down to sit with his back to the cave wall. He hesitated and then motioned for her to sit in front of him. It was the uncertainty in his eyes that brought her to him and had her sitting between his legs with her back to him. Like they’d done so many times before.
It felt so good to feel him against her. "Are you going to tell me why you're here?" she asked.
He was helpless to keep his hand from reaching out and smoothing a lock of her long black hair behind her ear. A tremor ran through him and she caught his hand and held on.
“Damn, baby. You let your hair grow.”
She couldn’t help asking. “Do you like it?”
He ran his hand down the sleek silk. “Oh, yeah.”
She glanced up and there was such adoration in his face that she couldn’t help smiling. She shook her head trying to get back on track.
"So, tell me" she said.
“Okay.” He paused. "I did it."
"Did what?"
"I finally figured out wormholes."
She went still. Frell, how she hated that word.
"So that’s why…” she reached up to touch the gray wings at his temples. “Which still doesn’t explain why you’re here?"
He let one hand drift down and a finger trace the back of her hand.
He started haltingly. "When you left..." He stopped, grimacing at the memory, took a deep breath and started again. "I always knew we would see each other again." He flashed her a quick smile. "You know, fate and all that crap."
She knew. It had never crossed her mind she wouldn't see him again, no matter what they'd said back on Moya.
"And here we are." She squeezed his hand.
"Not...not exactly."
"What are you talking about?"
He closed his eyes to the memories flooding him. Unbidden, tears leaked out from beneath his lashes as he growled out the words. “I never saw you again, Aeryn. It's been 15 cycles since you left and ...and I just found out..." The words faded away and he turned his head into his arms to wipe the moisture away.
Dread seized her. "Found out what?"
He opened his mouth, but nothing came out.
"Tell me" she said again. Her hand tightened on his and she had to strain to hear him when he spoke.
"You died." He looked up then to stare into her eyes. "I found out that the reason you never came back was that you're dead."
Her heart skipped a beat before it settled into an uneasy rhythm. She felt her muscles go stiff with shock yet again. Of all the things that had run through her mind since seeing him this was one she hadn’t thought of. She sat for there for long microts saying nothing. What was she supposed to say? It wasn’t every day you found out you were dead. Unless you were with Crichton she supposed. Then anything was possible.
“Dead?” At least her voice was normal.
“Yeah. Look, I know how it sounds.”
“No, no. Coming from you it sounds perfectly reasonable.” She thought for a microt. “Let me see if I’ve got this straight. You used a wormhole and came back from 15 cycles in the future?”
He nodded.
“Frell.”
“I know it sounds crazy, but it’s true. Listen I went for cycles without a word or clue to what happened to you. Working on wormholes was the only thing that kept me sane.” He grinned suddenly, a boyish grin that took years off his age and made her heart thump. “Although not everyone would agree about the sane part.”
“How did you find out about....?” She couldn’t quite bring herself to say the words.
“That was a matter of catching Braca at just the right moment. He was real talkative after a while.”
“Braca told you this? And you believed him?”
“Yeah, well, he wasn’t exactly in a position to lie about it and there was other evidence too.”
“So. You’re sure?”
He nodded slowly.
“Then why are you here? Come to say goodbye again.” The twist of her lips held nothing of a smile.
“No. Not goodbye.” He hesitated. “Not exactly.”
Her lips tightened. “Be exact.”
“I’ve come back to stop it.”
“Stop it?” she asked. “Can you stop it?”
“I... think I can. Breakin’ a few rules to do it, but...yes, I can do it. I will do it.”
Of course he would be breaking rules. It’s what he did. “What kind of rules?”
“Never mind about them. I’ll take care of it.” He brushed off a millennium of galactic order with a wave of his hand.
She was in no position to argue the point. “How can the past be changed? Or is it the future?” She shook her head with the beginning of a headache. “What did I do? Get shot? Blown up?”
“Actually...,” he grimaced “... actually, it was the living death.”
Her breath caught in her throat. “No” she whispered. She shook her head and felt the blood draining away from her face as the room spun for a moment. Frell no. That couldn’t happen to her. She couldn’t go that way. Their lives were always one race from a life and death situation to another and she’d thought when it finally happened, she would die violently as was her right as a warrior. The thought of sinking into the living death, that was no death at all, only endless purgatory, made her truly afraid for the first time since John had died and she realized with a hint of wonder that she didn’t want to die anymore. She wasn’t sure when it had happened, but that time had passed. Now she just wanted to live. With him.
“No, no, no, no...” It was a whispered litany.
It would have been funny if it weren’t so terrible. All this time she had spent away, trying to find a reason to go on and now it was here in front of her. And behind her. And ahead. Everything was John and John was everything. A scary thought indeed. And now she was going to lose them all. Past. Present. Future. Baby.
Oh frell, what about the baby? She still didn’t know what she was going to do about that. If only she could be certain it was his. Of course that presumed she’d live to do anything about it at all. She couldn’t think about that now.
She twisted around and leaned towards him and he took her face in both hands. He brushed his thumbs over her cheekbones as he shook his head in denial.
“It’s not going to happen this time, Aeryn. It’s not. I know how to stop it and it won’t happen. I promise.”
A tremor shook her body and he dragged her hard against him. “I promise,” he whispered into her hair and his arms wrapped around her like a vise. She felt his muscles against her, hard and strong and still familiar. Her breathing was coming in great gasps and she struggled to contain the panic. He wouldn’t let it happen. He’d said so. He’d promised. She had to believe him or go mad.
His hand traveled up and down her back and arms, soothing and calming until her heart settled back into is normal rhythm and suddenly she was aware of her breasts pressing against his chest. Her heart rate picked up again, but it wasn’t from panic this time. It was because she suddenly realized that their bodies were melded together, leg to leg, belly to belly. She felt him growing hard against her and she gave a little groan as he gave any involuntary thrust, pushing the length of him into her stomach. It had been so long. Too long since she’d felt him against her like this.
She slid one hand down to close around him and even through the cloth she felt him throb. Oh yes, it had been too long since she had been free to touch and be touched. She had missed this. Missed him.
She pulled back to find he was looking at her with a question burning in his eyes and his longing mirrored her own. And it didn’t matter that this John Crichton was a different, older man than the one she had known. It was John. And she wanted him. Needed him. Needed to feel him against her, smooth flesh against rough. Needed to feel him inside her, sliding, thrusting, pounding into her. Here in this dark little cave she wanted to bite and scratch and frell and love until she couldn’t think of anything else but him.
She answered his silent question by reaching up and wrapping her arms around his neck, bringing her lips within a microt of his. They were breathing hard and they stole each others breath in an intimacy she’d almost forgotten existed.
“Yes.” It was all she could say before he ruthlessly crushed her against him, his lips grinding into hers, teeth bumping, tongues sinking deep. She tasted John. She knew the flavor well and could have wept at the remembered taste as she swept her tongue back and forth drinking the wetness of his mouth like it was nectar.
They broke apart just enough to heave air into their lungs and plunged in again as their hands started to roam. She felt his hands moving up and down her arms, up her back to her neck. They pressed her face even closer yet to his as he devoured her and then slid down the front to skim her breasts. They were swelling and the peaks were already little pebbles beneath her uniform. She wanted it off. Wanted to feel his mouth there sucking until she felt the ripples in her womb. She wanted to feel his tongue soothing the ache yet fanning the flame higher.
It had been too frelling long.
She moved just enough to grab the hem of her shirt and yank it over her head leaving her torso bare in the soft light. She saw his eyes gleaming and the look of wonderment in them almost as if he’d never seen them before.
His voice when he spoke was rough and husky with desire as he breathed the words into her mouth. “Aeryn. Are you sure? This wasn’t why I came.” He stopped with a shaky grin. “Not that I’m compl.....” His voice trailed off as she peeled her pants down slim hips and thighs.
She grinned back at him.
“Shut up.” She reached for his shirt and pulled him down to the floor. She wasn’t sure what was going to happen next, but if they had only here and now she wasn’t going to waste a microt of it. She’d learned that lesson well.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Aeryn.”
“Mmm?” It was the best she could do just then.
“Thank you.”
She could barely hear him for the beat of his heart under her ear.
“For what?”
“For…for this.” He took a deep breath and her body rose and fell with it. “It’s been so long…”
With a monumental effort she pushed herself away from his body just enough to look at him. His cheeks were stilled flushed with spent passion, his eyes still glazed. The last time she’d seen him like this was the day before Dam Ba Da. It was funny how well she remembered it. Time should have blurred it somehow, but it was like a little holographic picture in her head, playing over and over whether she wanted it to or not. But this time the thought didn’t leave her with the usual sick hollow feeling as before. Now it was a gentle remembrance that brought a smile to her lips. She had loved the way he looked after loving. Soft and vulnerable and so very sweet that more often than not she’d had to kiss him and the whole cycle would start again.
“Ssshh. It’s okay.” She put her finger to his lips and traced them gently, soothingly and then laid her head down again rubbing her cheek against the soft curly hair of his chest. They were content to lie there for a long time in the silence. Silence except for the song the wind whistled through the cave. It was an eerie sound, but strangely appropriate.
“John?”
“Mmm?”
“What’s it like?”
“What’s what like?”
“The future.”
He didn’t say anything for a long time and she was about to give up when he spoke.
“It’s sad. And frightening. And...lonely.” He rubbed a hand down her back. “The Scarrans pretty much rule everything now. The Nebari aren’t too happy about it and another war seems to be shaping up. I’ve managed to keep one step ahead of both of them, but it’s...hard.”
“And the others?” She lifted her head.
He pushed it down again. “Never mind Aeryn.”
“But..”
“Ssshh. Just let it be.”
And she gave up. Because she really didn’t want to know. She waited a beat and lifted her head again.
“Do you think that coming back here will change anything?”
He grunted softly as he brought her body up until they were face to face and he kissed her softly, lips clinging to hers.
“I don’t know baby. I just hope it changes for you. You’re all that matters.” His arms came around her and held on to her tightly.
After a long microt, she screwed up her courage and asked the question that had been threatening to burn her brain to ashes.
“So tell me.”
He didn’t pretend not to understand.
He held her eyes with is. “Okay. I guess it’s time. Just…Aeryn you have to listen to me very carefully. I know what you’ve done and what you had to do. The Hokothian ambassador...”
Her eyes narrowed at that. That had been one of their most top secret projects. If anyone found out about that more lives than she cared to imagine would be forfeit. What had happened in the future that he knew this?
“I don’t know what you’re tal....”
“Aeryn. Don’t. I know okay? That’s not important. What’s important is that they did something to you. You’re sick now, you just don’t know it. But you will. And in a couple of solar days you’re going to get in a Prowler and you’re going to go looking.”
“Looking for what?”
“For me. Young me. Okay, younger me...” He broke off as her hand came over his mouth.
“Tell me.”
“You’re going to be sick Aeryn. With the living death. You’re going to be all alone and floating in space, near death.”
She started shaking her head. “I...I won’t go. I’ll stay here.” She could feel the panic beginning again.
“No! Aeryn, listen to me. You have to go. It has to be just how it was. The Hokothians have the antidote. Maybe someone can find them.”
“But what good will that do if I’m alone and dying in space?”
“Because this time it’s going to be different!”
“How is it going to be different?”
He paused trying to get the words out.
“This time when Scorpius finds you you’re not going to kill him.”
“Scorpius!” She shot to her feet. “What the frell are you talking about?”
“Aeryn. You have to listen to me. Scorpius is going to find you. You’ll be near death and he’ll offer to make a deal.”
“A deal?”
“Yeah. Your life for sanctuary aboard Moya.”
“I’d rather die than let him board Moya.”
“And you did! But that’s not the way. You have to make the deal. You can trust him for the time being. He was trying to help you.”
“Make a deal with Scorpius? Just like that?” She was shaking now as she picked up her top. This was something she had never dreamed he would ask of her. “You remember what he did to you? To me? To us?! The Aurora Chair? The lobotomy? The chip in your head? I frelling died! If you don’t remember I certainly do.”
She jerked her arms through the armholes of her vest and picked up her pants pulling them on quickly.
John sat up and reached for his pants. “Aeryn. Aeryn, listen to me. I know what he’s done. I know he’s a bastard. Hell, I was there. I haven’t forgotten anything. You’ll probably have to talk me out of killing him when you get to Moya.”
“Then why would you ask me…?”
“Because you died!”
She paused and stood looking at him.
“Look.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “Trust me to take care of him when the time comes okay? Braca was telling the truth. Scorpius can help us.” He paused. “Aeryn. I don’t know what the future is going to be like if you live. I only know what it’s like when you don’t and…”
“And?”
He took a shuddering breath and his voice was just a whisper. “And… I miss you.”
Frell. She knew that feeling. And she knew then that she was going to go along with this fahrbot scheme, because it was John. It was only ever John. She loved him and she would do her best to prove him right.
She looked out of the cave and saw darkness had fallen. Their time was almost up. She walked to him then and laid a hand on his chest. Spread her fingers and felt the beat of his heart, the warmth of his skin. Oh yes, she had missed him too.
“You’re sure it’s the only way?” It was hard to let go of the hate.
“No, I’m not sure, but it’s the only way I know.”
He’d never know what the next words cost her.
“Well that’s it then. I guess I have no chioce.”
He looked at her a little uncertainly, afraid to believe that it was going to work.
“You mean it? You’ll do it? Let Scorpius live? Take him to Moya?”
“Yes, Yes, Yes and Yes.” She smiled at him and he smiled back. She cradled his face with her hands. “What about you?” she asked softly.
“Me?” He shook his head ruefully. “Baby, if this works I don’t give a damn. With any luck we’ll still be together ten years from now, loving, fighting. Just as long as you’re doing it with me.”
She smoothed his hair down. “I’ll remember this you know. And in 15 cycles I’ll tell you about… you. And you’ll think I’m fahrbot.” She grinned a foolish grin.
“That’ll be a switch.” He grinned back at her.
Neither of them wanted to move, but they knew it was time. John finished dressing and they made their way to the entrance of the cave, taking a moment to look up at the triple moons glowing red, green and yellow in the dark sky. There was no sign of the ex-Peacekeepers.
Aeryn grabbed John’s hand and tugged him behind her. “It’s time to find you a ride home.”
She disappeared over the side of the cliff and John started after her.
“Aeryn!”
He heard her voice below him.
“What?”
“I’m too old for this shit!”
The End
Chris
imloco2
Author
