A really short story. A blip really at a time when they were totally estranged and an idea on how J&A might come together once again.
Rated: G
Everything is Alternate Universe anymore. :-)
Disclaimer: Henson's, Not mine
Hello John
He had almost laughed today.
She had seen it.
For one brief, glorious moment his eyes had lit up and she saw the gleam of his teeth. A microt only before the wall closed around him again and it was gone.
He sat across the room, silent, withdrawn. Once it would have been cause for concern, that silence. The others would have looked at each other and wondered. Tried to find out what was wrong. But the silence had slowly become the norm. A vision of his face, hopeful, eager, full of life flashed before her, and in that instant, she would have given anything, done anything, to give that back to him. To herself.
The past was retreating slowly, slowly. She grew stronger every day, more able to see what the Fates had wrought. The terrible price he had paid.
She didn't know how to make it right.
She could go to him. She could cross the room and sit beside him, and hope that curiosity would catch him. That he would turn and look into her eyes, so she could show him that it wasn't too late. But, there was no longer any certainty if she made a move that he would respond, no assurance he would not turn away, tired of the constant fight for a word, a touch, a look. She had been so careful to not give him hope and he had grown used to being without.
The uncertainty frightened her. She almost laughed. Aeryn Sun, Peacekeeper, afraid. She tried to be ashamed, but even that eluded her. She’d never known what real fear was until that day. The day he died. Now she knew fear and it twisted around her, through her, until she couldn’t breathe. She hadn’t known, hadn’t realized she would lose a part of herself without him.
She had tried so hard to go back, be the unfeeling, emotionless Peacekeeper she had been bred to be. But she had found even that was a lie. She had never been that person. She had always been able to feel, had always loved. It was only now that she could admit it. She peeled back the layers of herself and saw. She was more.
She might never have known, if not for him. The man who died, the man sitting across the room. She felt the old familiar pain settle around her like a blanket. Too familiar. It hurt to look at him and know what she had lost. It hurt worse to look at him and know what he had lost. For it was her doing, his silence, his distance. She had left him behind and he had lost a part of himself.
They had been friends once.
She missed him.
Him. She no longer knew which one she meant. In her heart they had melded together into a seamless ‘one’. She hadn't realized it until now, when she had seen his almost smile. Caught a glimpse of the way it had been, the way it could be. She wanted to see it again. Needed to see it again. If only it wasn’t too late. Please, let it not be too late.
She stood up on shaking legs and moved slowly to the table and sat beside him, careful not to touch. He didn’t move, gave no sign that he knew she was there, but she could sense his body tense.
Indifference was not yet complete.
She looked at him, willing him to look up, to acknowledge her. Long moments passed until it seemed it was gone, her chance. She had waited too late. Pain shot through her, but she had learned well to hide her emotions. No need to burden him with her need.
So lost was she in the empty cycles enfolding in front of her, that she almost missed the movement. His head turned slowly and his eyes... those beautiful, blue, human eyes looked at her. Wary, resigned, ready to retreat in a microt. But he was there with her. One chance. She had one chance.
She licked her lips.
“Hello, John.”
Author
