A Visit to St. Nicholas (G)

Originally posted 12/18/05

Well, here it is at last, the latest in a long line of aeryncrichton Christmas fics.... (For those that are interested, there's also Christmas Future from 2001 (post-Fractures -- think "A Christmas Carol" with Aeryn as Scrooge and John in the Tiny Tim role....), Christmas Present from 2003, and Christmas Present -- Times Four from 2004.)

This one more or less follows along with last year's story, but it also fits into the "Family Ties" universe -- so you get to see young Pippin on Earth....

Rating: G
Setting: About 9 years post-PKW
Spoilers: Through PKW
Disclaimer: Alas, I don't own these characters, or the universe....no money being made.... Just writing because I gotta have more Farscape!

This is Christmas fic -- no attempt has been made to explain how J&A and family got to Earth to visit. They're just here.

And there's a very good chance that there will be a companion piece....you should be able to guess the subject matter by the time you get to the end of this fic.

Many, many thanks to Loco and Shipsister for encouragement and great beta efforts! Thanks also to MadScientist for a drive by and a few helpful hints!

Hope you all enjoy this!

A Visit to St. Nicholas

"I don't think that's such a good idea, Dad," John Crichton said, shaking his head. "We're not even supposed to be here. Taking the kids out in public...."

"Oh, come on, son," Jack replied. "Without you and Aeryn along to be attracting attention, who's going to take any notice of an old man taking his grandkids to see Santa?"

His daughter-in-law had her own objections to the plan: "Pippin doesn't look human."

"Aw, pshaw! He just looks a little pale. No one will give him a second look."

"Dad, he's gray with black patches." John shook his head. "They'll think he's got a skin condition, and you've been beating him!"

Jack glanced across the room to where the kids were watching TV. D and Hope were sitting on the sofa looking way too much like John and his sister Olivia had way back in grade school, and Pippin was sprawled on the floor. Sure, the two year old was obviously Nebari – if you knew that's what you were looking at. But John and his family were here off the record, and no one was going to be expecting aliens in the mall. They'd just see a really fair-skinned kid with coal black hair. Jack shook his head and turned back to his son. "John, I mean it. There will be a zillion kids there to see Santa, your three won't stand out, not even the little guy."

John and Aeryn locked eyes, debating the question silently, and Jack waited them out, suppressing the urge to bounce on his heels with excitement. He was probably insane, but he really, really wanted to do this. Finally, Aeryn cleared her throat and said, "All right. You can take them. It's part of their heritage, and they've only ever seen John's version of Santa Claus."

Yes! Ignoring his son's reaction to the implied criticism of his Santa imitation, Jack clapped his hands together and said, "They'll have a great time, I promise! And this'll give you two a little time to yourselves. I'm sure you can find something to do."

Aeryn rolled her eyes, and John slipped his arm around her. "I imagine we can at that," he said.

Bursting with anticipation, Jack corralled the kids and got them loaded into his car for the drive to the mall.

* * * * * * * *

An hour later, Jack was beginning to think that John might have been right about this not being such a hot idea. He'd never seen so many screaming children in one place! The line to visit Santa snaked interminably through fields of towering candy canes, icicles, and gingerbread houses. It wouldn’t have been quite so bad if they were moving steadily, but it was stop and go, and he felt like he was in a freeway traffic jam. Pippin grew steadily heavier in his arms as they waited, and he shifted the little one from one hip to the other trying to stay comfortable. And to top it off, the local mall had the worst renditions of holiday tunes he could imagine!

But still, it was Christmas, and he was getting to know his grandchildren a little better, just as he'd hoped. Pippin put up with the shuffling, and the two older ones were both patient, and observant. Hope asked more questions than D, but they both remembered Jack's directions to speak English in public. He wondered what they spoke normally at home, but he didn't think that was a topic for conversation while they were out and about. He made a mental note to ask about it when they were back in the car. Pippin tended to come out with a mix of English and what Jack assumed was Sebacean. But he was only two, and a bit small for his age anyway, so Jack figured that people would take any incomprehensible words for baby talk.

It didn't take D'Argo long to notice that, at age nine, he was one of the oldest kids there. He didn't seem to feel out of place amongst the munchkins, but he did ask why there were so few kids his size in the line.

Feeling rather foolish not to have remembered that seeing Santa was generally for the kindergarten and younger set, Jack said, "Well, I guess that's because at your age, most kids here know that it's their mom and dad, not Santa, who brings their presents." D nodded solemnly, but the woman standing in front of them shepherding a pair of wide-eyed twins about four years old gave Jack a really vicious glare. Oops.

With a grimace in the irate mom's direction, Jack caught D'Argo's eye and winked, saying more loudly than necessary, "What I mean is, moms and dads are Santa's helpers!" D looked vaguely confused, and Jack whispered, "I'll explain later. Just go with me on this one!"

D'Argo shrugged his acceptance, but six-year-old Hope announced, "Mommy says Santa is a good kind of pretend. He teaches us about giving."

Fortunately, the line had moved ahead while they weren't looking, and the cranky woman with the twins wasn't near enough to hear. Not that that wasn't a really nice way of looking at it. The kids waiting in this line were probably thinking about getting, not giving. "Well, they do say it's more blessed to give than to receive," he agreed, and urged the kids along to fill in the gap in the line ahead of them.

Once again, they were at a dead halt. Children all around them were fussing. Pippin squirmed in Jack's arms and demanded loudly, "Put me down!"

Tugging on his arm urgently, Hope said, "That's not a very good idea, Grandpa!"

But, out of practice at carrying grandchildren, even ones as small as Pippin, Jack was willing to oblige him. He set the child down on the floor and then straightened up, stretching his back as he did so.

D immediately crouched down in front of his little brother. "Pippin, you stay right next to Grandpa, okay? Mama said so, right?"

The little guy turned away from his brother and leaned his head back to look way up at Jack. An innocent smile spread slowly across the boy's face, and Jack felt the first stirrings of unease. But where could the kid go? After all, there were people everywhere. Heck, at a two-year-old's height, it must look like a veritable forest of legs!

The line started moving forward again, and they moved along with it. As Jack craned his neck to see if he could tell how close to the front of the line they were, Pippin took off without so much as a backward glance. Before Jack could even react, D said, "I'll get him!" and took off after the sprite, weaving in and out among the others in the line.

Jack looked after them in something approaching alarm. Wondering if he should be helping chase the little guy down, he looked at Hope. She didn't seem too concerned. "Aren't you worried?" he asked.

Hope shook her head, soft brown ponytail swinging behind her. "No. D'll get him. He's got longer legs."

Jack took a deep breath and decided to defer to her experience with her little brother, at least for a little while. "This happens all the time, huh?"

"Pippin never does anything you tell him to do," she said. "He's a non…non…nonconforming." She grinned in satisfaction at getting the long word out, apparently unaware that she didn't have it quite right.

"Nonconformist," Jack corrected automatically, though he was actually pretty impressed that she knew the concept in the first place, and then added what seemed like a simpler explanation for Pippin's behavior. "Well, you know, he's two. That explains a lot."

She shook her head. "Dad says he gets it from Chimama."

Jack snickered at the nickname for Chiana, and then heaved a sigh of relief as D'Argo came into view, leading a very grumpy-looking Pippin by the hand. He thanked D, and took Pippin from him. "Hey, look!" he said, trying to encourage all of them. "We're almost at the front of the line!"

The two older ones craned their necks to see what was happening in front of them. "You get to ask Santa for a special present," Jack explained, as a mother put a sobbing toddler onto Santa's lap.

"Why is she crying?" Hope asked. "Doesn't she want a present?"

"Well," Jack explained, "some kids just find old St. Nick a little scary."

D'Argo and Hope looked at him as if that was preposterous. Well, for kids who saw aliens of all kinds on a regular basis, it probably was. Santa was just a fat old man with a beard, dressed in a red and white suit. Jack peered at this one a little more closely, and was glad to see that he was probably at least 50. It made the beard and the whole Ho-ho-ho thing more convincing. He looked like he was counting the minutes till his next break, though.

The twins just ahead of them each had a long list of toys they wanted, but at least they weren't crying! Finally they had their photo taken with Santa, and his helpers handed each child a candy cane. They left smiling happily, and finally it was Jack's turn to introduce his grandkids to Santa Claus.

He thought he'd start with Pippin, but the boy refused to go. He didn't look scared, really, but he shook his head. "No Santa," he said firmly. Well, fine, they'd send the older ones first, show him it was safe.

D'Argo walked over to Santa and stood beside him.

Santa looked at him with wide eyes. Jack prayed that he wouldn't say something about the boy being too old to be there. Fortunately, this Santa didn't feel the need to comment. "Ho-ho-ho! So, little boy, what's your name?"

Jack had a moment of panic that the boy was going to use his unearthly real name, but instead he came out with his nickname.

"Well, what do you want for Christmas, Dee?"

With a quick glance back at his grandfather, D'Argo said, "I want a lightsaber, please."

"So, you're a Star Wars fan, are you?"

"Yes."

"Well, I haven't had anyone ask for a toy lightsaber in a few years, but I think that can be arranged."

But D'Argo shook his head. "I don't want a toy," he said. "I want a real lightsaber!"

Santa looked at Jack, and Jack shrugged. Let Santa deal with it! "Son," Santa said after a pause, "there are no real lightsabers.

Instead of looking disappointed, D nodded in satisfaction. "That's what my dad says."

Santa looked a bit annoyed. "Just testing me, huh?"

"Yep."

After a moment, Santa shook his head and said, "Well, what do you want that I can bring, then?"

D thought for a moment and then asked, "A new football? It's hard to find balls that shape where we live."

Santa wasn't sure what to make of that, but he gladly agreed. "A football it is, then!"

D'Argo took the candy cane that one of Santa's helpers handed him, and stepped away, letting Hope take his place. She, too, stood next to Santa, rather than sitting on his lap. When he asked what she wanted, she said with enthusiasm, "I want a pulse pistol!"

"A what?"

The little girl shook her head as if Santa was a little slow. "It's a gun. Like Mommy's."

Santa gave Jack a look that said clearly, What is it with your kids and weapons?

Jack shrugged, but D'Argo intervened. "Mom said no, you're not big enough!"

"I am too!"

Before they could really start arguing, Santa said to Hope, "Sorry, kid, no guns at the North Pole."

"Then I want a prowler."

That earned Jack another skeptical look. "She wants a burglar?"

"It's a spaceship," Hope clarified, this time with an expression that said Santa was clearly mentally deficient.

"I'm fresh out of those, too," he said, having completely lost his bedside manner.

Hope pouted for just a moment, and then said, "Okay, how about a baby sister?"

This time Santa chuckled. "You'd better ask your parents about that one," he said, and gave the girl a merry – but dismissive – "Ho-ho-ho!"

She took her candy cane with grace, and they tried again to coax Pippin into sitting on Santa's lap. The child didn't cry, he didn't fuss, he just refused to let go of his grandfather. He wouldn't go see Santa, not even with the promise of getting a candy cane.

The children immediately behind them in line were getting impatient, and Jack decided to give up. The boy was only two, there was no point in trying to make him do something he didn't want to do. "He's a nonconformist," Jack said apologetically to Santa.

Santa actually looked a little relieved to be spared one more in a long series of reluctant toddlers, and managed a jolly smile as D'Argo and Hope posed for a photo, standing on either side of the great man. Jack bought several prints, knowing their parents would want one just as much as he did.

Photos – and Pippin – in hand, they headed off to get an ice cream before going home.

The ice cream store was within sight of Santa's village, and the sound of cranky children followed them. Deciding on which flavors of ice cream took a little while, since D'Argo and Hope weren't familiar with a lot of flavors that any kid on earth would have taken for granted. Eventually they settled on coffee, of all things, for Hope, and peppermint for D'Argo. Jack figured Pippin could share his dish of vanilla.

When it was time to pay, D and Hope were already settled at a table and occupied with their treat, so he set Pippin on the floor again so he could get out his wallet. "You stay put while I pay," he told the boy, but he really didn't think Pip would go anywhere. After all, there was ice cream to be had right here!

But when he'd finished paying, and had his wallet tucked back into his pants pocket, Pippin had disappeared! Aw, hell! He scanned the immediate area. There were a fair number of people walking purposefully towards one end or the other of the mall, but he was pretty sure he'd be able to see Pippin if he were nearby. And if he weren't? If someone had picked him up and carried him away?

Telling himself that odds were the boy had just wandered off, Jack strode over to the table where D'Argo and Hope were eating. "Did either of you see where Pippin went?" he asked, struggling to keep the alarm out of his voice for the sake of two children who were, after all, only six and nine.

They both shook their heads, and D'Argo said, "I'll go that way," pointing towards one end of the mall.

"Pippin! Pip!" Hope hollered, cupping her hands in front of her mouth for amplification. She looked at Jack and said, "I'll go the other way!"

Jack looked at them and briefly debated the wisdom of allowing them to go off on their own in an environment that was, however much he'd forgotten it for a while, totally foreign to them. He'd already lost one of John and Aeryn's children. How could he risk losing the other two? But they were already starting out, ice cream completely forgotten. And maybe Pippin was nearby.... "Wait!" he called sharply, stopping them in their tracks. "All right, see if you can find him. But if we don't find him very soon, we'd better report him missing and get some help, right?" The kids nodded, and he pointed out the large clocks that hung from the ceiling in both directions. "Can you tell five minutes on a clock?" When they both assured him that they could, he told them, "Five minutes. Then I want you back here, with or without Pippin, understand?"

They agreed, and he let them go, hoping he wasn't making a terrible mistake. The biggest crowd in the immediate area was still waiting for Santa Claus, and Jack circled the area, hoping to see Pippin's shaggy black hair or better yet, his pale gray skin, stand out amongst all the local kids.

Twice around, and no sign of him. The five minutes he'd told D and Hope were fast running out, and he knew he was going to have to go to the mall police and get help. It would be embarrassing if he broke John and Aeryn's cover by reporting their child missing in the mall – but it would be infinitely worse if something happened to the boy. He might not be their blood, but there was no question at all that he was deep in their hearts.

Aeryn would take it out of his hide personally if anything happened to that child, and he didn't want to think what John would say!

Nope, definitely best to get help. He began looking around for the older two, hoping they would follow orders and come back. He could just hear himself now. "Um, John, I seem to have misplaced your kids. You wouldn't happen to have a tricorder or something to locate them with, would you?"

Just then he caught sight of D heading back, as ordered. With a small sigh of relief, he looked the other way, hoping to see Hope. As he turned, he felt something pat his leg gently.

What the?

He looked down, and lo and behold, there stood Pippin – a wide, self-satisfied grin on his face, and both hands full of as many candy canes as he could wrap his little fingers around! He held his arms up to show off his haul.

Jack stared at him, relief rushing through him, unsure whether to laugh at the kid, or scold him. "Where have you been? Didn't I tell you to stay with me?" he demanded. Pippin's safe return had turned his fear to annoyance, but still, it was awfully hard not to smile at the proud expression on the little guy's face.

Pippin pointed back in the direction of Santa's village and said, "I got candy canes."

"Yes, I see that," Jack said, shaking his head.

D'Argo and Hope barreled in and gave their brother a hug, and Jack decided it was time to head for home before anything else happened.

Still, all the way home, he grinned like a fool. He'd just taken John's kids to see Santa Claus....

* * * * * * * *

"Mo-om! Pippin ran off and snurched some candy canes!" Hope yelled as she charged into the house, followed closely by D'Argo, with Jack and Pippin bringing up the rear.

John and Aeryn were sitting together on the sofa looking very comfortable indeed, much to Jack's satisfaction. They didn't actually bat an eye at the news that Pip had run off, but Jack felt the need to apologize anyway. After all, they'd trusted him with their children, and he'd almost lost one. "I'm really sorry," he said. "He just got away from me."

Aeryn shook her head. "Never mind. We should have warned you that you have to keep a tight hold on this one in public." She gave the child in question a stern glare.

Completely unabashed, probably because there was plenty of affection mixed in her glare, Pippin held out his ill-gotten gains to show his parents.

"You know better than that," Aeryn told the boy firmly. "Give those to me," she said, and to Jack's surprise, Pippin handed them over. "It's just the taking that interests him," Aeryn explained.

"Unfortunately," John added. "It makes it a lot harder to break him of the habit."

"Well, I'm glad it's you and not me," Jack said, with all sincerity. Pippin was a whole lotta fun, but he was definitely a handful!

Turning to the big kids, John asked, "So, did you have a good time? How was old Santa, huh?"

Jack handed over the photos, and let the kids chatter on about the trip, and tried not to let himself tear up. He hated it when he got sentimental, even when he had a damn good reason to....

Finally the kids ran down, and headed off to wash their hands and get ready for dinner. Their parents stood with their arms wrapped around each other's waists, looking supremely happy.

"Thanks for taking them, Dad," John said. "I didn't think it was a good idea, but...."

"Well, for a while there I thought you might'a been right, but....it was a great trip. They're great kids, John. Aeryn," he added.

They smiled broadly at him, and he headed out of the room. In the doorway he paused and turned back. "Oh, by the way. D'Argo wants a football."

John smiled. "Thanks." After a pause he asked, "What does Hope want?"

Jack tried to suppress a chuckle. "A baby sister."

There they went with the eye-locking again.

Maybe Hope would get that baby sister after all....