Originally posted 8/7/05Well, this is my first fic for Terra Firma....a housewarming gift!
It is, appropriately, set during Terra Firma.....
It's had no serious betaing except for encouragement every step of the way by loco (read: it's all my fault), but I got a passel of drivebys today from CretKid, CrystalMoon, ScaperRed, ShipsCat, and MadScientist.... Thanks for the feedback everyone! You're the best!
(Sometimes these little things make me the most insecure!)
Rating: G
Setting: Mid-Terra Firma
Spoilers: Through Terra Firma
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, nor this universe. I mean no harm or disrespect, and there's no money being made here!
I hope you'll enjoy this!
Thoughts of Home
"Hey! Aeryn!"
Chiana's voice echoed dimly from somewhere downstairs.
Aeryn sighed. Sometimes this dwelling Crichton's people had provided for them seemed twice as big as Moya. It was really a nuisance not being able to use the comms, but having gotten a clear direction from John on
something, she intended to follow it exactly and make sure the others did, too.
"Aer-yn!" came the call again.
"All right," she muttered to herself. There was no point in trying to make herself understood from her quarters. She put down the book she'd been reading and stood up. Tugging down her black T-shirt, she headed for the landing. Once there, she glared down the stairs and demanded, "What?"
Too late, she saw another figure, a human female with long brown hair, alongside the expected Nebari. Unnecessarily, Chiana announced, "Crichton's sister's here. She wants to talk to you." There was the faintest of emphasis on the word, "you," and Aeryn guessed that Chi would have liked the attention herself. Aeryn would have gladly let her have it....
It wasn't that Aeryn disliked John's younger sister: it was just the opposite. She liked her a lot, much more than she liked their oldest sibling, Susan, who hadn't stayed in Florida long, and who had seemed very ill at ease during her visit. Aeryn was very nearly totally comfortable around Olivia – and that in turn made her
uncomfortable because she felt she had to be constantly on her guard so as not to say something that would upset John, should he hear about it later. It didn't help that she had very little idea what was going on in John's head these days.
But she forced a bright smile and headed briskly downstairs, wondering what had brought Olivia to see her this time. As she reached the bottom of the stairs, Aeryn tossed her head back in the direction of her room and said, "Hi. I was reading. One of the books you lent me."
Olivia smiled, just a little nervously, Aeryn thought, and held out a couple of paper shopping bags. "I brought you some clothes."
"Oh." She'd completely forgotten that she'd accepted Olivia's offer to borrow some human clothes. What the frell had she been thinking when she did? Belatedly realizing Olivia was radiating unease, she roused herself to say, "Thank you."
Olivia's relieved smile made her look a lot like John. "We could go upstairs and you could try them on," she volunteered. When Aeryn didn't immediately say anything, Olivia added, "In case some of them don't fit. So I can bring something else."
Aeryn frowned, beginning to suspect that the clothes were only an excuse for Olivia to stop by. "I don't think—" she started, and was interrupted by Chiana.
"I will!" Chiana volunteered. "I, I like trying clothes on!"
Aeryn glared at her shipmate, primarily because her reaction to Chiana's interest in the clothes –
Olivia brought them for me! her mind was screaming – showed her she was a lot more interested in earth clothes than she wanted to be. Did she really want to fit in here so very much? Was it even a good idea? The Humans were already scared enough because she looked like them. She'd seen it in their expressions often enough, in the way they stood just a little further away from her than they did even from the members of Moya's crew who
looked alien.... She looked up in time to see Chiana watching her, calculation in her eyes.
After one more appraising look, Chi tossed her head. "Never mind. You two are both way bigger than I am anyway!"
It wasn't meant to be an insult, it was just Chi's way of saving face, and Aeryn watched her flounce off with something approaching amusement in her eyes. Then she sighed and turned to the younger Crichton. She shrugged her shoulders apologetically. "Thank you," she said softly. "It's very kind of you to bring me these things. But I'd prefer—" She broke off, trying to think of a diplomatic way to say she really didn't want an audience when she tried on the clothes.
Unless it was John.... She strangled that thought ruthlessly, and smiled apologetically at Olivia. "I'll try them on later, if that's all right," she said, reaching for the bags with both hands.
Olivia surrendered the clothing with an apologetic smile of her own. "Sure. It's no big deal. I just thought you might want some help figuring out how some of them go on...."
Bags still in her hands, Aeryn snorted. "If they're that complicated, I won't wear them anyway."
"Oh, most of it is just casual stuff, jeans, some shirts," Olivia hastened to assure her. "I didn't figure you for anything fancy or frilly."
"You're right about that," Aeryn admitted.
With a grin, Olivia added, "You'll be indistinguishable from the locals if you don't let Chiana coordinate your colors."
That brought the conversation to a dead halt again. Olivia sucked in her lower lip for a microt, then scuffed one toe against the floor.
Aeryn knew that body language. Crichton's sister had something to say – or ask – and she wasn't going to leave until she'd done it. Well, fine. Best to get on with it then. She set the bags of clothing down beside the staircase where no one would trip over them going up or down the stairs, and turned to Olivia. Clearing her throat, she cocked her head to the side and asked, "Would you like to stay for a while, have a snack perhaps? There must be something in the kitchen that Rygel and Noranti haven't contaminated."
The other woman smiled. "Sure. Where
are Rygel and Noranti?" she asked as they headed into the kitchen.
"Another one of your government-sponsored trips," Aeryn told her. "Somewhere in the southern hemisphere. Ba-zil?"
"Brazil," Olivia corrected.
Aeryn repeated the word, committing it to memory as she'd failed to do earlier. "Brazil. They've got Chiana and me scheduled for a tour to somewhere called Pair-is next week."
"Oh, Paris is a beautiful city! Are you looking forward to it?" Olivia asked, as they stood in front of the refrigerator, both examining the contents critically.
"It's...interesting," Aeryn hedged, "to see more of your world than just this small piece. To see some of the places John has told us about." She hoped Olivia hadn't noticed the pause before that word,
us, and hurried on without thinking before she spoke. "But it is unpleasant to be looked at as....oh, as freaks. Critters," she added, using John's word even though it was milder than what she meant. "Everyone says your cultures are different from each other, but they all seem to view us as...monsters." She shook her head. "Even me, and I look just like you." She stopped, belatedly remembering that she didn't want to offend Olivia, who had never shown any tendency at all to treat them as anything other than John's friends.
The two women looked at each other, and tacitly decided not to pursue that topic of conversation, turning their attention back to the refrigerator. Somewhere in all the rummaging, they decided to forego food and just get something to drink. Olivia chose a can of diet soda while Aeryn poured herself a blend of several different fruit juices that, mixed together,
almost resembled marquar juice. Provisioned, which meant she had something to do with her hands, Aeryn led the way out the sliding door into the yard.
They stood side by side in the pale afternoon sun, looking out across the large body of water that came within mere motras of the house, it seemed. Aeryn still found it astonishing that humans built their dwellings so close to the untamed shoreline. In the terrain simulations on a command carrier, the water didn't move....
"So, now that you've been here a while, what do you think of our fair planet?" When Aeryn started, Olivia continued, "I mean, leaving aside the jerks and the spooks," she said, nodding her head towards the security guard standing at attention back by the door they'd come out of, "What do you think of the place? You know, terra firma."
Aeryn shrugged, covering a multitude of emotional responses that had nothing to do with the planet itself. She looked out again at the water and let her eyes follow a small boat that was just leaving a nearby dock. "It's beautiful here, in many ways."
"But?"
Aeryn shrugged. "But it is very primitive, compared to what I'm used to. Very different."
Olivia eyed her in a way Aeryn could only call
speculatively. Finally, she asked, "Are we really so backward?" After a brief pause she added, "Would you ever consider making Florida your home?"
Florida? Earth?
John? It took everything Aeryn had not to flinch. She could feel her hands tighten on her glass, and her face must have showed shock or dismay or something equally strong, because Olivia backed off immediately. She reached her hand out and touched Aeryn's arm and said earnestly, "I'm sorry, Aeryn, that was really rude of me, I didn't mean to suggest....it's none of my business!"
"No, no, it's all right," Aeryn lied, just as Olivia was lying when she said she hadn't meant to suggest there might be something between Aeryn and her brother. It was clearly what Olivia had come to ask. Well, she wasn't about to talk about John, but she was actually touched that Olivia cared enough to ask. Instead of shutting down, she answered the question literally. "It's just....it gets too warm for Sebaceans here at other times of the year. John says much of your world does." Not that it had stopped her from telling the other John she'd come here with him, she remembered wistfully. Nor would it stop her from staying here with John, if he were to ask her, but he wasn't going to stay here anyway, that was one thing she was sure of....
Olivia quirked her mouth up in a half smile and accepted the answer. "It must be disadvantageous for a soldier," she observed, "not tolerating heat."
"Sometimes. But we tolerate cold better than many races. And it's cold in space." Aeryn lifted her eyebrows and smiled ironically. "Of course we need protection to actually be out in space, but it means our ships don't have to maintain the high temperatures other races do. It's more efficient."
Olivia nodded and then bent down and set her soda can on the ground. "Tell me about your home," she asked as she stood up again.
Aeryn thought about it for a few microts. "My home.... I didn't have a home the way you think of it. I was bred to be a soldier. Raised on a command carrier."
"John says you lived in dormitories from childhood?"
"From birth, actually," Aeryn said, which made Olivia frown, as she'd known it would. "I was taught to do my duty, and to avoid emotional connections. I'm sure it doesn't sound very appealing to you, but leaving that world behind was difficult, because it was the only life I'd known. It made sense." She remembered vividly how terrified she'd been when she realized she was going to abandon her training and flee with a group of escaped prisoners – and how hard she tried to pretend to herself as well as the others that she wasn't frightened at all.
Olivia looked like she couldn't decide whether to be sympathetic or not, and once again, Aeryn was reminded how much she liked John's sister. She gave the human woman a peace offering. "I've learned something in the past few cycles on Moya: Home is where your friends are. No matter how different it is. No matter how new. If you are with people you care for....you have a home." Let Olivia make of that what she would. It was the truth.
Olivia digested that, chewing on her lower lip. After a moment, she looked out toward the water again and broke into a smile that held just a hint of satisfaction.
Before Aeryn could respond, the sliding door to the house thumped open and Chiana burst through into the yard. "Hey!" she called as she strode towards them. She jerked her thumb back towards the guard at the door. "It's really boring here! Can you guys think of something fun?"
Olivia gave Aeryn a knowing smile, and bent down and picked up her empty soda can. "A few of those clothes I brought are kind of small for me. Do you want to go see if they fit you?"
Chiana agreed with alacrity, and grabbed Olivia's arm, rushing her back into the house. Chi halted at the doorway and called back to Aeryn, "You coming?"
Aeryn smiled indulgently and replied, "In a microt!" As Chi and Olivia vanished inside, Aeryn sipped at her juice for a moment, taking one last look at the landscape of the planet that had sent John Crichton into her world. She didn't know where the future was leading her....but at least she had friends on her journey now....
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