Originally posted 5/31/05You may remember that a while back I wrote a really short snippet of fluff, wherein John jumped to the conclusion that Aeryn was pregnant for the second time. At the time, a lot of people asked for a sequel where Aeryn got to see the doc and find out if John was right.... Check out
Turnaround to see how we got here.
I'm making the assumption in this particular future that Aeryn hasn't done anything about the genetic modifications she's got regarding pregnancies, so any pregnancy she has will be stasis first, then geometric.
Rating: G
Setting: About two years post-PKW
Spoilers: Er, through PKW
Disclaimer: Not my characters, not my universe, and not enough explosions for FS, LOL (which is to say, none!)....
Thanks to imloco2, CrystalMoon, shipsister, Auna and MadScientist for this and that. It was kind of a case of too many cooks, I think, so don't blame anything in this fic on any of these good people!
Balancing Act
Aeryn Sun sat comfortably in the pilot's seat of one of Moya's transport pods, hands on the controls. Her husband John sat beside her in the copilot's chair, with young D'Argo, now two cycles old, strapped in behind them. She and John were both wearing their usual traveling gear, and with his matching long leather coat, their son looked like a miniature version of his father, especially now that they'd cut his soft curls short.
The really wonderful thing about flying, Aeryn thought – even if it was only a transport pod, and not the sleek, flashy prowlers or marauders of her youthful dreams – was that it was so natural, so much of a part of who she was, that she could leave everything else behind and just enjoy the process. Though they were still in space, with no atmosphere yet to contend with, she could feel the subtle gravitational pull of the planet they were approaching. She compensated automatically, pulling gently on the controls to correct their course sooner rather than later, and smiled as she saw the pod fall into the exact trajectory she wanted for a smooth entry. Yes, when she was flying, she didn't have to think.
Not that she had anything to avoid thinking about, of course. She felt fine. The exhaustion of a weeken ago had vanished, though that hadn't done anything to dim John's insistence that she was pregnant again. The planet they were about to visit had a sizable sebacean population, and Aeryn had an appointment with a medic there to confirm or refute John's guess.
She sighed inwardly, realizing that despite the joy she was taking in piloting, her thoughts had circled back to that scary place, the place where she had to consider the possibility of adding another child to their family.
When John had first suggested, in one of those odd intuitive leaps of his, that pregnancy was the explanation for her excessive tiredness, she'd found the prospect pleasing. Their son was still quite young, but already she missed his baby days. The thought of cuddling a tiny one again definitely brought a smile.... But the more she thought it might be real, the more uncertain she became, and she had no idea why.
She could hear D'Argo fussing behind her. He usually was excited to be strapped into his seat in the pod, because he knew it meant they were going somewhere new, which he loved. But today, of all days, when she really didn't need it, he'd been most unhappy to leave Moya behind.
She flashed a look at John, but he'd anticipated her, and was already rotating his chair to try to settle the boy down.
"Hey, there, buddy, what's the problem, huh?" John asked in a soothing tone.
Aeryn heard a steady rhythmic thumping as the boy kicked his feet out and dropped them back against his seat without answering his father. No doubt his lower lip was protruding in a pout, too. At least he'd stopped complaining.
John continued to try to distract the boy, chattering on without much response.
She sighed, and tried to concentrate again on the flying she enjoyed so much.
John's cheerful, cajoling voice joined the sounds of the engine and D'Argo's kicking, creating an almost musical background cadence. Aeryn was just beginning to smile when her husband's actual words caught her attention again. Her heart sank as she listened.
"Guess where we're going, D! We're going to a doctor."
"Dok-der," the two-year-old said, beginning to echo his father.
"Uh-huh, that's right! A doctor. You know why?"
The kicking behind her had stopped, and Aeryn would have bet real money that her son was looking at John with interest, and shaking his head from side to side in an exaggerated motion.
"We're going to a doctor," John enthused, "because..... Mommy's got a baby in her tummy!"
"Be-be!" D'Argo echoed delightedly. "Be-be!"
"Yep! A baby! You, my little man, are going to be a big brother!" There was no mistaking the pride and pleasure in John's voice. Frell.
"Be-be! Mama got be-be!" D'Argo giggled happily.
That was the last straw, and Aeryn flung John a glance and snapped, "Stop that!"
John's head snapped from his son to his wife.
What the frell? was written all over his face.
Sidestepping the truth, which was that she wasn't even certain she wanted to be pregnant, Aeryn said, "Don't tell him that. What if I'm not actually pregnant? He won't understand!"
Staring at her, John began with the absolute certainty he'd been showing for the past weeken, "You
are preg...." But something in her face must have reached him, because he trailed off. "All right," he agreed. "No talking about you-know-whats till the doc says there's a bun in the oven."
Aeryn nodded sharply and went back to flying the transport pod, hoping John had some other tricks up his sleeve with the little one....
* * * * * * * *
The moment he was released from his safety restraints, D'Argo attached himself to his mother like a delvonian limpet, wrapping his arms tightly around her neck and his legs around her waist. It was going to be one of those days.... But still, it was nice to get the chance to cuddle. The boy wasn't allowing that much any more. He'd always been independent, but he was growing more so with each passing day, curious, and always exploring.
In the medic's waiting room, Aeryn sat with D'Argo in her lap. John took the seat next to them in the very uncluttered room. The medic was sebacean, and in fact had apparently served in the Peacekeepers in the past, so it wasn't really surprising that the clean, utilitarian lines of the room felt very familiar to Aeryn. She knew John could do with some homier touches, but he kept his thoughts to himself after muttering once about the lack of anything to look at, not even pictures on the walls. There were two other patients waiting, both sebacean females without anyone accompanying them. Aeryn assumed the medic specialized in sebaceans and probably related races as well.
Aeryn shoved her uncertainties to the back of her mind and enjoyed sitting with her son. D'Argo's favorite puzzle box was in his lap, and the two of them took turns fitting odd shapes made out of brightly-colored plastic into the matching holes. The boy turned his head and gave her a triumphant grin every time he fit another piece into the box. "You're a show-off like your father, aren't you," she said affectionately, kissing the soft brown hair on top of his head.
"I heard that," John said, and she gave him a grin before turning back to continue playing with D'Argo.
Being this little creature's mother was the most amazing thing that had ever happened to her, and she really did love it, with all its ups and downs. She couldn't imagine her life now without D'Argo in it.
But when her name was called to see the medic, her heart abruptly dropped to her stomach, and she froze.
John undoubtedly sensed her panic, because he looked at her in puzzlement. "Aeryn? Baby, that's you they just called."
She shook her head to clear it and gave him a weak smile. "Yes, I know. I was just...." Just what? Never mind. She trailed off and set D'Argo on the floor while she quickly collected his things and handed them to John.
She knew better than to try to keep her husband out of the examination room, not for something like this, anyway. This possible pregnancy involved him as much as it did her, and truly, she'd come to value his support – even when he made her crazy as a banta bug, which he did often enough. It was part of his charm, she thought, feeling a bit better as they walked into the medic's domain together, John carrying their son in his arms.
* * * * * * * *
John followed D'Argo around the small room, trying to keep him out of trouble – there were
far too many storage nooks and containers with handles and latches at the two-year-old's eye level – while Aeryn lay on the examination table. The medic was old enough to have retired from the Peacekeepers more than a few cycles ago, but he hadn't lost the brisk attitude that military medics all seemed to have. That suited Aeryn just fine, because he didn't expect anything more from his patient than her cooperation with the exam, and she really didn't feel like talking. She tried not to think, either.
The medic ran a hand-held scanner over her abdomen, making adjustments to the instrument several times. After the third scan, he cleared his throat and pronounced the verdict: "You do indeed have a fetus in stasis. It is female, and appears to be healthy and viable."
For some reason she couldn't understand at all, Aeryn felt nearly as stunned as she had when she'd first learned of her pregnancy with D'Argo, and she couldn't think of a word to say in reply.
John, however, appeared instantly at her side with D'Argo in his arms. "She's pregnant? For real?" He had a huge smile on his face, and he looked at Aeryn and said, "I told you, baby! Isn't this great? We're going to have another kid!"
The medic saved her from having to reply. "Shall I release the stasis, then?"
"Yeah, absolutely, go ahead!" John babbled.
But the medic looked at Aeryn, not her mate, for his answer, and she had no idea what to say.
John looked at her, seeing her hesitation, and frowned. "Aeryn, honey, this is perfect timing. We can stay here while the baby's growing, that's only a couple weeks, right? Spend some quality time planetside with D – have a real doctor deliver this one...."
Aeryn wasn't able to force a single word out, and she knew she must have looked miserable. She could feel a hint of moisture in her eyes, and she was furious at herself for that. It would have helped if she had a clue what was making her so reluctant to do this....
John searched her eyes, frustration obvious in his own, and then took a breath and turned to the medic. "We'll get back to you on that."
She felt a rush of gratitude for his support, even though he didn't look at all happy, and she sat up and reiterated for the medic, "Yes, we'll get back to you." She hoped John would take that for the offering that it was.
Apparently he did, because on their way out of the office, he suggested, "There was a park on the way here."
Somewhere where D'Argo could play and they could talk. Aeryn nodded and said, "Sure." She wasn't at all sure what she wanted to say, but one thing she'd learned in the past few cycles, it was better to try to figure these things out than to pretend they weren't there...
* * * * * * * *
The park really wasn't much more than a patch of greenery tucked into a space between two large buildings. It consisted largely of a paved path that meandered seemingly at random among well-groomed plants, the occasional monument of metal or stone, and two small ponds. There wasn't really a good place to let their son play, but John and Aeryn let him walk a few motras ahead of them, examining everything he came across. Fortunately, he'd recently stopped putting every new thing in his mouth to test it!
As they walked side by side, slowly so they stayed a few paces behind D'Argo, John turned to Aeryn and said, "Now, what's this all about?"
She took a deep breath and said the most coherent thing she could. "I don't know if I can do this."
John's eyes opened in astonishment. "Be a mom? Aeryn, you're a great mom! I thought you loved being a mom?"
Hearing that put into words gave her a little more insight into what was scaring her. "I do," she agreed. "But.... John, this is the hardest thing I've ever done. How can I handle two children? How can I give D'Argo everything he needs?"
After a quick glance to be sure their son was still in sight, John cocked his head and smiled soothingly. "You love me, you love D.... Did it mean you had less love for me when we had D?"
Leave it to John to think the emotional side was what scared her.... She shook her head, on firmer ground now. "No. But I do have less
time for you...." She watched till his eyes acknowledged the truth of that and then continued, "And with
two children.... How can I be there for you, and D'Argo, and another child, too?"
John looked like he was trying very hard to understand, and to keep a frown off of his face. "You don't want this baby?" he asked tentatively.
"I
do want this baby!" she said instantly. And in that moment, she realized that she did. She reached out and touched John's cheek. "Very much! Just not
now," she breathed, happy to have figured out what was going on in her subconscious. "If we release the stasis, the baby will be here in only a few weekens, and I'm not ready yet, not when we have a choice." She took a look over at where D'Argo was crouched down, examining something on the ground. "The baby will be safe in stasis for at least five cycles, seven if you're right about when I conceived," she pointed out.
But John wasn't ready to let go yet. "We're not getting any younger," he said, jaw set stubbornly. "And if we want to have a third...."
"Three! For the love of Cholak! How did we get to three all of a sudden? We're talking about when to have this one!" Movement just at the edge of her field of vision caught her attention, and alarmed at what she saw, she commanded, "D'Argo! Get down from there!"
John was moving before she finished speaking. He pulled the child from halfway up a stone tower that was several motras high, depositing him on the ground with orders to
stay on the ground. D'Argo looked back at his father with large, innocent blue eyes and nodded.
When John walked back to her, Aeryn reached out and took his hand. "In another cycle, two at most, D'Argo won't need so much of our attention, John. He'll be able to help. He'll be able to teach his sister lots of things."
"Yeah, all the things we won't
want her to do," John snorted, but she could see he was beginning to accept the idea of waiting a bit longer to expand their family.
"John," she said softly, "I want this baby. Very much. I even believe," she acknowledged, to herself as well as to her husband, "that I would like to have a third." She gave John a smile. "But the reason for a stasis pregnancy is to allow the timing of the birth to be practical. We should use it."
John looked over at their first born, who thus far was still on the ground as ordered, and then looked back at her. After a long moment of silence, he took a breath and said reluctantly, "Okay. You're right. It probably makes sense to wait till D's a little older." Aeryn smiled at him broadly, in relief, and, obviously still a little reluctant to let go of the idea of having a new baby right away, he held up one finger in emphasis and said, "Two cycles, tops!"
She nodded in agreement. "Two cycles. Maybe less. Probably less."
John smiled then, putting disappointment behind him and looking towards the future. He reached out and put his hand on her stomach. "You've got a baby in there Mrs. Crichton."
"I do," she grinned back.
"A little girl."
"Yes."
"I hope she looks just like you."
Aeryn leaned forward and kissed him gently. "Come on," she said. "We'd better catch up to D'Argo."
John grinned and took her hand, and they hurried after their son.
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